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Is there such a thing as a friendly divorce?

My husband and I have been married for 15 years and both feel that we don't really have much in common anymore and our ideas for what we want in the future are very different. We do have a relationship, but it seems more like friends than husband and wife. We are interested in finding out more about having a friendly divorce. Is this possible? What does it look like?

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km108

Asked by km108 at 5:58 AM on Sep. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • yeah some people agree to it mutually with no hard feeling. Things just didn't work out
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 6:12 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • do you know someone who has a friendly divorce? what does it look like? how do their friends handle it? do they hang out at all?
    km108

    Comment by km108 (original poster) at 6:14 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • It is possible but rare. My friends got divorced by mutual decision after 8 years of marriage. they did it themselves for about $1000 for paperwork and court costs. it was very very amicable. and they are still friendds.
    BlacksheepSati

    Answer by BlacksheepSati at 7:37 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I know a couple who are friendlier now than when they were married. No pressure, I guess.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:52 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • my ex and I get along, he comes over for dinner, we are still friends, and go on "family" dates, and to eachother's family events. That being said, is there anyway that you can wait until the kids are out of the house? Being a single mother is not easy, and the kids will have an easier time if you wait.
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 10:07 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • This is my third marriage and there are no children. I have four grown children and three granddaughters from my first marriage that I am very close to. My ex and the kids daddy and I have no problems (anymore) being together for family get togethers and I always invite him. I wouldn't call us "friends" because we never talk or hang out for any other reason. What I am looking for with this divorce is the hope that we could still be somewhat close and be able to be in the group with our friends without feeling uncomfortable or making our friends feel like they have to choose. Thank you so much for all of your responses!
    km108

    Comment by km108 (original poster) at 10:20 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • When I got divorced (after 13 years), we used the same attorney. It wasn't a big deal, we went to the parenting class (court ordered) together, and we settled everything (including visitation with our two kids) before we even saw the lawyer. If both parties are reasonable, it shouldn't be difficult at all.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 11:49 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • when exh & I first split up, it was horrible & nasty. But after a couple months, we both cooled down & now we are friendly. Not FRIENDS, but friendly. It can be done. I would say as long as both people are agreeable to the terms, than it can definitely be friendly.
    stressedmomma13

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 5:03 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • yes...but its rare and there is typically still a period of upsetness about things not working out... which is just natural... but my parents had a pretty friendly divorce... they agreed on everything and actually only got divorced b/c my dad insisted...mom was willing to stay married on paper so that he would have medical and eventual retirement benefits....
    there was some resentment, neg., issues b/c they DID have issues period for many years... just never fought

    They are VERY good friends, he was I think the first person she came out to, they help each other out all the time, he stayed in the hospital with her every night (I have kids and my bro sucks at hospitals and her gf was working... so he did night shifts) for 21 days,
    she helped him with both his parents funerals, even his gf talks to mom about their issues, she helped them when buying a house and in other legal advice etc.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 6:23 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

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