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Temper tantrums and unacceptable behavior-parents, step up!

My children have NEVER had a temper tantrum, and bad behavior was always curbed and dealt with immediately. Seems I can't go anywhere without having to hear moms "reasoning" with their screaming kids (for hours sometimes) to no avail or parents just ignoring their kids while they're bothering everyone else and breaking things and just being brats. As a mother, I would have been appalled if my kids acted this way and I would have put a stop to it immediately. Why do some parents perpetuate it? No drama please - I'm not looking to start anything, I just really don't get it.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:06 AM on Sep. 10, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (32)
  • Yeah, you rock on with that.
    Do you know me? If you saw my son out in public having a tantrum I bet you would then assume I was a bad Mom right? How can YOU tell if a child is autistic? You can't! I get so sick of "better than you's" who judge me and my parenting when we are out and about. We are currently undergoing early testing, early intervention, for DS. He is 20 months old, and usually the sweetest little boy, but he does have a temper, and gets overstimulated very easily. His tantrums will sometimes last for 20-30 mins. Yet there is no "look" about him. To everyone else, he is just a bratty kid(yes I have had morons tell me this in public). My DD is 5, and yes she is a kid and still has her moments. They are NORMAL! They are not a poor reflection on the Parent. Every child is different.
    RheaF

    Answer by RheaF at 8:53 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Golly June CLeaver! how did you do it? LOL unless your kids were half dead. there is no way your kids NEVER had a tantrum EVER. sorry NO ONE is THAT PERFECT of a parent or a child. Basically kids are NOT peas in pods and neither are parents. and unless a child is directly affecting YOU. you should likely just move along instead of judging. or maybe consider that poor frazzled mom is at wits ends that day and no energy left .....
    BlacksheepSati

    Answer by BlacksheepSati at 8:08 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • So much truth in what you have said ....
    justnancyb

    Answer by justnancyb at 8:11 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Well try having twin Autistic boys and see how wonderfully easy life can be. After all its totally within our control as parents to simply wave our magic wands and make the kids be quiet or behave. I wish it was. We take them outside if there's a meltdown or a fit, but these kind of kids cannot control it. They do their best and that all they can do. Sometimes they aren't even aware of what they are doing.

    I just ask you take this as a possibility when you get frustrated with some of these people you know nothing about that maybe, just maybe, they are coping the best they can with something that really is out of control (at times). Medicines and therapy can only do so much.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 8:23 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • As the mother of a Aspie child who is sensory sensitive to sound and highly agitated by crowds I do the best I can do to help him cope in what is less than his ideal situations. Yes sometimes that means some screaming or 'acting like a brat' but as HIS mother I know that me getting frustrated upset or doing to much to 'correct' his behavior is only going to escalate it. The best thing for me to do is to sit with him and talk him through it to help him figure out what he needs to do to calm himself. Yes sometimes he is just being a 6 year old brat but most of the time he is being a child who doesn't know how to reason with the world around him the way a 'typical' child of his age would. When he starts to 'act up' I always er on the side of caution and treat it as a sensory aversion tactic. Is his behavior exceptable? No. Do I correct it? Yes. I re direct and help him learn a better alternative for when he 'needs a break
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:32 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I'm not going to keep him locked up in the house because he might annoy someone though. He will eventually learn to help himslef and self regualte so it doesn't happen as often or as bad but until then I will continue to take him to the mall, the store, the water park....Where ever because he will learn but he can't learn if he isn't 'allowed' to experience it. The world is his classroom when it comes to self regulation. As a PP said therapy can only do so much and it sure isn't instant gratification. So yeah that kid you were talking about...could have been mine and you know what? I'm doing the best I can and if I sound a little defensive it's because I am. I do my best and I know I am still being judged every time he has a melt-down. People forget to consider the possibility that he can't help it sometimes.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:36 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I agree not every child is but you can' be pointing fingers every time because you have no idea which one is and which on isn't. 1 in 93 children born each year will have some form of Autism. I'm not to sure how it affects you so much that you need to be this upset about it. When possible the child should be move to a quieter area away from prying eyes but that's not always reasonable for ANY child.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:51 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • My son is just starting to test the tantum waters. I've learned to ignore them for the most part depending on if he is doin something he is not supposed to do or not. The the "no's" start. I see what you mean about kids doing this in public places. My parents you to warn us and tell us that if we didn't stop, they were taking us to the car. That normally worked pretty well.
    amberdawnbarr

    Answer by amberdawnbarr at 9:30 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Yeah we are taught to ignore children having a tantrum, not give them the attention they are seeking.
    keisha613

    Answer by keisha613 at 8:22 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Hand to God, my kids never threw a tantrum. And they weren't saints, they did act up but I dealt with the behavior. And I do realize that the situation differs for autistic children - we have several in my own family BUT you can't tell me that every kid out there who behaves this way is autistic. And the reason I even posted the question is because, YES, many time it does affect me.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:38 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

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