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Why do my kids like the ex better?

He doesn't work, I pay for EVERYTHING, maintain the house, and am generally pretty fun to be around, yet they (6 & 8 yrs old) will pick him every time over me. Today it happened again, I'm really really sick of it.

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Asked by jimmydean at 8:17 AM on Sep. 10, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • You said it, he's pretty fun to be around. Kids only care about fun; not responsibilities or anything else.

    Answer by keisha613 at 8:19 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Just remember, it's not the material things. He may be a deadbeat, but he is still their father and I'm sure they love him just as much as you. Just don't say anything negative in front of them about their father. They aren't trying to hurt your feelings. I don't think they like him better, but it's just how you feel. Hugs.


    Answer by Christine0813 at 8:20 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Probably because he's more interested in being their "buddy" instead of being their "parent".

    Answer by justnancyb at 8:20 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Because he is the 'fun' parent. He is probably not making them abide by any rules so they feel that they can get away with anything.

    However, this will bite him in the butt later. They will not mind and when they get older, they will appreciate you more for your discipline and routine.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:21 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • They'll appreciate you so much more when they're older for actually parenting them and not being the 'fun' one. & I think if it actually came down to it all children would pick the responsible parent because it's what kids feel safe around.

    Answer by leah_rai at 8:21 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • if they are around you more often then him then they are probably just excited to see him...not that they are choosing him over you..sometimes they just need that break..just like you need that break from them

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:24 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • if they spend less time with him
    that alone will do it

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:42 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I think it's the age. I'm in the same boat you are - my ex doesn't work, doesn't pay child support, and it's me that the kids come to whenever they want/need anything. My son is almost 11 now and is seeing that his dad doesn't keep his promises, says things that aren't very nice, etc. but 2 years ago he thought his dad hung the moon. It was REALLY hard at the time because I do not want him to grow up to be like his dad and I was afraid that's exactly what was going to happen. But as I said, as he matures he's seeing more and more how things really are. My daughter is 9 and she's still in that "Dad is IT" stage and I know she just wants his attention and approval, but I'm hoping as she gets older she will see what her brother is coming to realize. Hang in there, it will pass.

    Answer by missanc at 8:47 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • It is definitely the age. My kids did the same thing at that age with their Dad and their Motherinlaw. I grinded my teeth and then when something serious happened like a bump or scratch or bruise,... they still chose me to wipe their tears. Now they are preteens and this isn't a concern anymore. There are things that they will go to Dad over but all in all in equals out in the end.

    Answer by Mariejen at 9:01 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Thanks, everyone, for answering, it's nice just to know I'm not feels like the end of the world at the time but "this too shall pass"...

    Comment by jimmydean (original poster) at 4:56 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

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