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How do you teach your kids to be safe without scaring them?

How old are your kids? How do you talk to your kids about strangers? How much do they know about pedophiles/sex offenders? Do they understand there are people out there that can possibly hurt them? Do they ever ask you why someone would want to children?


Answer Question
 
itsme0221

Asked by itsme0221 at 4:11 PM on Oct. 15, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 6 (104 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • We just remind him that there are mean people that can hurt them or take them away from us. That their privates are not to be seen or touched by people and if anyone does then mommy and daddy need to be told right away. Thankfully my kids aren't very social and won't talk to a stranger even if they are spoken to.
    little.miss.mom

    Answer by little.miss.mom at 4:23 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • When we are out in public and they want to go look at something they have to ask first. They are to always be able to see us. If they can't see us then we can't see them. If a stranger talks to them they look to us first for permission to talk to this person.
    It may seem mean but we wanted our kids to be able to be safe in public, or as safe as they can be anyway! To teach them we let them feel the fear of loosing us. The first few times when they wondered away from us we moved out of their sight but stayed close and we could see them. Once they finally realized they lost us and started to get scared we went to them, of course comforted them and then explained why they need to stay with us and why we have rules. I think our kids are too young to talk to about sexual incidents. They know they have a penis and vagina and it is private.
    My kids are quite outgoing and social and I don't want to scare them.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 4:34 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • I have been wondering the same thing with my girls I have a 5yr old and 4 yr old daughter i have been really thinking about how to let them know the truth without scaring them i have given them a lil talk about noone is to see their privates and that there are ppl that would hurt them if they go away from me somewhere but it just doesnt feel like enough I would definetly love to hear some other ideas on how to bring up certain subjects and when is the right time......
    michelle2mb

    Answer by michelle2mb at 4:45 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • There is a great series called "Stranger Danger" our library has it. In this series it helps you talk and explain to kids what a 'stranger' is. Kids think they are mean looking guy in the trench coat. A stranger, simply put, is anyone you don't know. Keep it simple. You can arm your kids without stripping their innocence. Like nobody touches or even sees your privates..not even the Dr unless Mom or Dad say so. Never getting in cars. Never help look for lost animals. Strangers. Teach your kids their phone number INCLUDING area code. (Steven Staynor was abducted at age seven. He returned home at age 17. He tried to call home once but didn't know his area code) There will be plenty of time to teach the "whys" later, when they are older and can grasp more.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 4:59 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • My children are 11, 9, and 6. I have 2 boys and 1 girl. We have dinner every night together and we talk about everything. My children know that there are people in this world they could hurt them.

    We talk to them at a level that they understand. We let them know that it is not appropriate for someone to touch them in a way that makes them uncomfortable. We only give them information they can understand. If they ask questions about something then we will take it further.

    All of my children know their phone number and address. As far as telling them about these things we always tell them the truth, at their level.

    Hope it helps and Good Luck
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 9:45 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • OP...I've had talks about all of the above and my 5 year old is just way to smart...he gets that he needs to be careful but he wants to know why adults would want to hurt children children...all I can really tell him is that sometimes people are sick and they didn't learn when they were kids that it's not okay to hurt other people...I wish there was an easier way to explain it to someone so young and not have to worry about him being terrified of being around people in general...
    itsme0221

    Answer by itsme0221 at 10:39 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • I personally don't see the problem with scaring them. . . they should be scared, it's a dangerous world we live in. I have 4 kids, 2 girls and 2 boys, all very out going. . . and willing to introduce themselves and talk to anyone who will listen. Gosh, I even exaggerate and scare the beejeebahs out of them! I want them to be terrified of strangers! They understand that if their parents are there it's ok, but I'd much rather them be scared and cautious than dead, or worse. Gosh, my dad used to tell us that there where organ farms in Columbia and if you strayed they's kidnap you and send you to Columbia to breed babies for organs!! Trust me, we stuck close by and didn't talk to strangers!! HA!
    Panditacjp

    Answer by Panditacjp at 11:49 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • I use the safe side video with safe-side-supper chick! It's funny, has memorable teachable moments, my kids ask to watch the video about twice a month, and it ALSO teaches them to be "safe side" regarding everyone even the people they "kinda-know" Most abductions happen with people the children kinda know, not because of a total stranger. I've only have used their stranger danger video, but I have been thinking about getting their internet video. http://www.thesafeside.com/

    SAHMinIL

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 9:00 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • oh and it's not just abductions, but most sexual abuse happens with people the children "kinda know"... (i.e. teachers, friends of mom and dad, coaches, etc). They need to learn to be "safe" with those "kinda knows" along with "don't knows" (i.e. total strangers). The terms "kinda know" and "don't knows" are used in the video I mention in the previous post.
    SAHMinIL

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 9:07 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • My kids are 8, 6 and 4, and I agree that sometimes the only way a child will take you seriously is to scare them. I cut out articles on child abductions and missing children, and show them on the evening news what happens with children. Then I reiterate our family rules: Try never to walk alone, always tell me where you are going, how long you are going to be there and be home when I tell you. I watch them walk where they are going, and if I can't hear them where they went, I call to make sure they got there. After that, I reiterate what happened to the child and what the child or parent should have done differently that might have prevented it.
    tikigoddess

    Answer by tikigoddess at 11:23 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

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