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disrespectful stepkid

not to me but to her own father, my df. im getting so tired of it, & he seems to be okay, its from giving him little slaps in the face, or whenever decisions have to be made,things that we have no control she has gone behind our backs n tried changing things, another thing was she has even told my hubby about her skipping some classes& the thing is that he wont say anything the one that got me upset last night was my df had been getting up like 2hrs earlier just to drop her off at school a certain time when in reality she didnt have to be there until like an hour later, he doesnt say anything, we just got full custody of her & he hadnt been in her life for about 6yrs& i thinking he doesnt want to lose her or something but its not like he would cause we ended up getting full custody so idk what his problem is letting her, im going to have a talk w/him about it but i dnt want it to end up in an argument, any idaes??Thanks

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gabby06

Asked by gabby06 at 11:54 AM on Sep. 10, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 18 (5,830 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Do you two have kids together? If so play that card. would this behavior be acceptable from them? I bet not. He needs to lay the law done now before it gets way out of hand. I'm sure he feels guilty about not being there but she'll know he loves her no matter what. Just talk to him tell him how your feeling and let him know your not trying to tell him how to raise his daughter but something needs to happen before she gets into trouble.
    StefInfection

    Answer by StefInfection at 12:05 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Children need discipline and as hard as this may be for your husband with his feelings of guilt for not being there, he is doing her a disservice by not stepping up and dealing with what she is doing. Maybe taking the angle that the longer he lets this go on the worse it will get, she can't learn from her friends right or wrong and how to make the good choices or how things will impact her future if someone is saying something and disciplining where necessary.
    I know what it feels like to not want to loose your children, children don't love unconditionally so sometimes (myself for sure) we step lightly to attempt not to sever or ruin a bond. Its hard for me to punish my kids, I do a lot of talking to them, but it sounds as though she really needs him to step in. Good luck and I hope things get better.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:01 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • It sounds like shes acting out for a reason. Has something changed in her life, has he been acting different with her. (Not like that people). Maybe its just the age, she wants to see how far she can push him.... Alot of teenagers push their fathers away. He needs to let her know that its not going to be her away. Its going to be his. He needs to lay down the law & get on to her. ground her for skipping classes, stop going out of his way to bring her to school extra early, (A child who wants to be at school that early, for no reason Id have alot of questions.)
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 3:42 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Maybe she is trying to feel him out. See where she stand with him. At some point he is going to have to reach a breaking point. Be careful where you step with him. If you are going to discuss it with him (which I do think you should) I would be sure go about letting him know that you are looking out for both of their best interest. If he thinks you are attacking her in any way (if you have your own kids you may know how easy it is to feel this way) he may get angry at you. I am sorry you are going through this and I wish you luck.
    Peajewel

    Answer by Peajewel at 11:53 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I fell your pain. And his Dad always allowed it. The kid could do no wrong. And if I stepped in to defend my DH I became the bad guy.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 6:53 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Sounds like she is try to get attention.
    cleanaturalady

    Answer by cleanaturalady at 3:39 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Discipline!!
    sstepph

    Answer by sstepph at 5:12 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • If he does not put his foot down now and show her there are boundries it is only going to get worse! You can disipline and still love your child!
    cparra74

    Answer by cparra74 at 3:50 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

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