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Am I a failure for not being able to feel normal without help?

I think I need to go back on medication to control my panic attacks/anxiety dissorder. I have managed it on my own pretty well for about 4 years, but since the death of my mom a few months ago and a lot of recent stress, my panic attacks have been coming back with a vengeance. My husband seems to think that since it is all in my head, I should be able to control it myself. I feel like a failure if I give in and take the medicine. I don't know what else to do. I've tried to manage it on my own. All I want is to be able to feel normal again and happy for myself and for my family. Should I feel like a failure for needing help?


Asked by Kword at 12:17 PM on Sep. 10, 2010 in Health

Level 27 (29,610 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • No, you are not a failure! Some people truly can't help it. Often, it's caused by chemical imbalanced. I'm on medication for anxiety, and I'm not a failure. I'm a good mother, wife, and person. Mine came on after I had my son, and my doctor wants me to have different tests done because she thinks it's a chemical thing. The medication helps, and I have little to no anxiety. That right there proves that it's not all in my head, and I'm not making it up. I used to get anxious for no reason and it took some convincing to my husband to show him that I really couldn't control it. Who would CHOOSE to feel that way? So again, you are not a failure! If you feel like you need help, get it. Wouldn't you rather be happy in your life? Hang in there, mama, and if you ever want someone to talk to, feel free to PM me. :)

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 12:21 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Nope. You sound like me. I just went back on antidepressants last week. I have dealt with depression and anxiety for years. I was on 4 different antidepressants (paxil, prozac, effexor, zoloft) and they never worked well. My husband used to think it was all in my head too. I finally decided that I wanted to live. I did not want to exist. I wanted to enjoy life again. I already feel the difference. I am on a cocktail of Lexapro and Wellbutrin and I can feel my mood has stabilized. If this is how they make me feel after a week, I honestly cannot wait to see what happens when they fully kick in. You are not a failure!! Depression is serious and has been stigmatized that we are somehow weak or lack coping skills. Get help!! You will feel better.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 12:23 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • You are absolutely not a failure! I am Bi-polar and have the occasional panic attack. I do however suggest that if you need the meds then you also need to be in therapy so that maybe you can eventually get off them. And even if you can't that's ok. But you need regular therapy along with drug therapy. Do not let your husband make you feel ashamed. You need to take care of yourself in order to take care of your family. Good luck!

    Answer by Duckylicious at 12:24 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • absolutely not. Don't think that! We all need a little help now and again! :)

    Answer by Chell.o_0 at 12:19 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • No dear u shoudnt .. every one need some supports even a little smile sometimes ;) and that is NORMAL .... as Elisabeth Kubler said :
    people are like stained-glass windows. they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within( ross) ... and that is human ... just trust on ur self dear .. u'll be fine ...

    Answer by caramelH at 12:31 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Thanks.

    Comment by Kword (original poster) at 12:23 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I meant anxiety..sometimes they go hand in hand.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 12:23 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • What your husband and many, many people don't realize is that even though it IS all in your head it's not in your control. You have found ways to work with it so that you don't have these attacks as often or at all, but it still has control over you. It is your brain that is overreacting to these situations whether due to a chemical imablance or something more sever, but either way it's not your call. You can't just say "Okay, I've had enough panic attacks this month let's go back to normal". Your brain slows down when you do certain routines to keep it from overreacting, but if it feels the need to panic it will. With that said, you're not a failure for not being able to control it anymore. You can't control your brain on her own, because it controls you. That's what a brain is for. And when people have chemical imbalances, twisted wiring, (or whatever you want to call it) it can overreact to the simplest of things.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:31 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Especially in the event of losing someone or added stress. Your brain didn't have that much to deal with before it sounds like and that's why you could handle it, but when something hits you like a train it sends you right back to before you could handle it. Now you either have to try to find new ways to calm down and relax or go back on your medication. It's okay to go back on medication, it is. You're not a failure, you're not hurting anyone, your brain just needs some assitence. That's all.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:33 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Thanks guys. I decided (after letting the medicine sit in the medicine cabinet for 3 weeks) that I was finally going to start it. Having support from SOMEone really helps me to feel like I am not a failure for needing it.

    Comment by Kword (original poster) at 12:42 PM on Sep. 10, 2010