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I am so lonely, and he is in the same house

I have tried to talk to him
we went to one therapy session

he acts like I am not even in the same room
he does not return any emails-like he used to
he does not call during the day-like he used to
he only kisses me a quick peck goodbye in am
he comes to bed when he thinks that I am asleep
he gets out of bed in am when he thinks I am asleep to go onto computer 2 look at porn

I think the only reason that he telerates me in HIS house is because we have a child together, and he would not see her much if I moved out, plus he would have to pay 17% of his income to support her since I am SAHM with no job at this time

I AM SO LONELY, I have tried to reach out to him, talk to him, and he is more distant than ever.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Sep. 10, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Listen. I understand that you want him to be the guy you married. You want that life back in your marriage and you want him to be the one to give it to you. However, if he isn't willing to change then he isn't going to change. You have clearly made efforts to get him going in the right direction and as you said "He's more distant then ever". If he's pulling away from you in the process of you trying to reel him back in then you've pretty much lost him. I honestly think that if you're this unhappy and this lonely in your marriage, then it's time to cut your losses. He isn't willing to put forth the effor to make your marriage what it was, and he's not going to change for you. You're living with a roommate that's all. And you can do that with your kid somewhere else and be a lot happier.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:27 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • *hugs* You can do better, you go find yourself somebody to treat you right!
    Chell.o_0

    Answer by Chell.o_0 at 12:22 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • You cant go on living like this. Maybe it is time to get a job and start stashing money away. Tell him you just need ot be out of the house and quit reaching out to him. The more you grasp the more he runs away it sounds like. Stand on your own and go be independant and happy. The change may wake him up (soemtimes when we get needy and clingy guys turn away even more) but confidence and happiness may turn him back. If it doesnt you will still have confidence, happiness and some money in your pocket for your future.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 12:26 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • dear .. life is toooo short to not live it deep ... You existed before him and you'll exist wahatever life will bring to both of you ... if you cant see that you exist how other aill see that hunyy?.. how could ppl treat u well if u dont do it to ur self ? well, make a change if he dont wanna make changes and move on ... you deserve some one who will treat u well and see u as center of the world ... if he cant see you so u do the same ;) make some new plans and go out for gd time life is too short to not be lvd
    hugs
    caramelH

    Answer by caramelH at 12:41 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I wish they would make a husband bootcamp....
    ryanlynn

    Answer by ryanlynn at 1:11 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • It sounds like the relationship is over. If he is avoiding you at all costs, and is not willing to work with you, he is done. It is not fair to you or your child to stay with him in this loveless relationship. You may tolerate each other now, but eventually that will go away. You will be looking for a way out, and so will he. You need to get out, and do it now. You will continue to be lonely until you find your independence and yourself. Good luck.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 1:33 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • i know how you feel went through this stage for a very long time i actually spend a whole year withough a kiss or hug from my hubby and that started as soon as my first son was born it just went rom being the best thing in the world to were i though he didnt even care if i was there or not i remeber we wouls osmetiems spend close to a month withough having sex and when we did have it it was more like ok lets get trough it and were done everyoen turns its own way. i was sort of in deniel for a very long time thinking maybe tomorrow he will change neer really confront him about it. until once i was watching this show and they had similar stories about thi where they said the worst thing we could do was live life lke this wasnt a roblem. we had to confront this as soon as possible and well if it didnt work out it didnt work out everyone ca be a single parnt if they put their mind into it. at this point i thought it could be
    Alejandra10

    Answer by Alejandra10 at 5:50 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • someone else involved and i was scare to even ask him. i aked him a couple times and he just didnt change anything so one morning i woke up and i felt very determine that day i knew i would have much help if needed from my parents until i got on my feet adn i just knew i didnt want to raise my sonn in this enviroment so that day i woke up when he was leaving to work and i simply told him im packing my stuff adn my sons stuf and we are leaving today in case you want to say bye to him and you can get him weekends or whenever you want to see him. (he was an awesome dad so i didnt have a problem he didnt help much around with him but he did love him i kne that) so he left to work i was surprise he didnt try stoping me or anyhting. he atually didnt go to work that day and came back like 30 minutes after he left i was already packing and he came back and told me we had to talk. he told me how he though i didnt care about him and
    Alejandra10

    Answer by Alejandra10 at 5:55 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • how i wasnt the same and he knew he was doing wrong but hejust didnt feel the same way as before verything was a routin going from work comming home and everything. i knew i wasnt trying myself never did i try to do something new to change things to spice thing up to me it was like a routine too. so we were just basically not expecting anything from each others anymore otherthan the same thing. so i asked him if we were going to try adn work this out he said he rally wanted to. we did hve to do a lot to save our relationship we tried and spend as much time together posible and he did help out a lot more so i wouldnt be as tired adn thing got so much better now we are the same if not better then how we were when we started daiting. its the best thing ever now. so i would say leave him like that if you havnt tried talking to him. i think you need to talk to him and make sure you guys put this in the open. try getting pretty and
    Alejandra10

    Answer by Alejandra10 at 5:58 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • doing something special if fyou truly love himi adn want to save this then go for it if he loves you back he will work with you to save this if it works out then this will only make your relaltionship stronger. tlak to him ask him what he expect or will like from you adn you do the same about him. put eerythign in the open and just spice things out. random little stuff like inthe morning when he laves and just gives you a little kids you know what grab him and you give him a big one just random stuff so yo guys can change thing around if you love him dont give up. im not saying go all on him but let him know that you are willing to tryand save the relationship if he loves you he will do the same. now if you know its done adn over with or he doesnt seem to want to try it then its best to go on and do your own life you can do it!!! do what makes you happy i wish you the best !!!! : ) make sure YOUR happy
    Alejandra10

    Answer by Alejandra10 at 6:03 PM on Sep. 10, 2010