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It this tooo selfish?

Is it too selfish to want your mom to move where you live to help out and live near her grand kids? My mom lives out of state and she is not married. I have no family where I live and her grand kids are 2 and 7mos. I think I am being selfish wanting her here with us and needing her help.

 
novice2008

Asked by novice2008 at 1:15 PM on Sep. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (176 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • There's nothing wrong with wanting something. If you really want your mom to be there, let her know how important it is to you and your kids. If she declines and says that she is happy, then be happy for her. There are things that you can do to make her and her grand kids closer. You can use web cams, emails, texts. If you bother her and harass her to move closer to you guys, that would be selfish. However, simply wanting her closer to you is not selfish. My mom passed away and I would give anything to have her here with us to help with the kids.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 1:20 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Want it? No. Trying to get her to move if she doesn't want to? Yes.
    justnancyb

    Answer by justnancyb at 1:24 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • II don't think it is selfish, unless she doesn't want to move closer and you get mad at her for it. I don't know how I could have done it without my mom or family. :)
    Mom2Dano

    Answer by Mom2Dano at 1:17 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • It is if she doesn't want to
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 1:16 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I don't think it is. Not necessarily selfishness, but just wanting to be around your mom with your kids.
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 1:17 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I don't think it is selfish but I think the decision is your mom's. Talk to her and let her know you need her. If she says no, buy a webcam so you can all still be close. Make sure she knows you are not looking for a full time nanny, so she doesn't feel used but that you want her to be an active part in the children's lives.
    CorrinaWithrow

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 1:24 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • You can want it all that you do. It needs to be ok with her as well. Does she have friends and a life? She might not want to give that up just because it is something that you want.

    My mom lives 6 houses away from us. We rarely see her and her version of helping with the kids has always been sitting and watching me do it. Funny thing is, when she moved here it was to be here for the grandchildren that she might have someday.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 1:24 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • If she WANTS to its not, plus she and the kids will know each other that way
    dragonlady320

    Answer by dragonlady320 at 2:23 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • If it is OK with her and your husband it sounds great! I know families who have moved to be near grandchildren.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 2:41 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • selfish....not exactly the word I would use, however I do think its odd that you - as a grown woman with a family of your own now, wants your mother around all the time.
    stressedmomma13

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 5:37 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

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