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What do I do if I am bored with my marriage

My spouse and I have had marital problems from the get go. If it isn't one thing it is another. Sex sucks cause it is the same old boring crap. I have suggested and tried to spice things up but he doesn't really seam to care - same wham bam thank you mam. We have the perfect marriage on paper with our careers, finances and assets but when it comes to all of the important stuff like being in love, sex and communication we just don't connect. Our hobbies are the same so we are busy every weekend but it feels like we are hanging out as friends and the husband wife stuff went out the door... what do I do?


Asked by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Oct. 15, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I can relate to that. What has worked for us is getting away for a few days at least. We can relax and remove ourselves from the daily grind that gets between us. We lose who we were without it all. After years of the same kind of sex you describe, I told my husband that I was sick of being treated like an object, literally. It always was about him or about him trying to "please" me. I have arranged one night a week that is all about what I want. I told him I don't want him to initiate or dictate. He needs to relax and let me be in control. It has become much more enjoyable for me physcially and emotionally. One thing I ask him to do is to read me a chapter from Chicken Soup for the Romantic soul. I not only love the stories, I am making sure he gets romance at the same time. Give something like it a try.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:40 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • i think you guys need a second honeymoon

    Answer by melody77 at 6:41 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • Marriage retreat and date nights. :) Flirt with him.

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 6:44 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • Get mad! Throw a fit and demand what you want. It sounds like he loves you, but men need shaking up sometimes. People will only treat you how you allow yourself to be treated. Find out what trips his trigger and go for it. Take control

    Answer by bvona at 6:48 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • Read "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. This book has been instrumental helping me maintain a long distance marriage.

    Answer by SkyeGirl at 6:50 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • you know those packets of durex flavor and intense felling lubricants. when you are gonna make love use one whatever one dont tell him just put it on and then see what he thinks i has to have a reply REALLY!~lol and you say you are busy every weekend well maybe you should have a weekend and not do anything literatly. just hang out. you know, im tired of doing the husband wife thing it gets old i want to try things and he just sits there. oh well. we just have to keep trying.

    Answer by rosepetalluv at 6:51 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • Go out with friends, and it doesn't matter what age u are. I am 25 and been married for 5yrs and been together for 7. We have a 5 1/2yr old and a 11 1/2mth old. We do different things and sometimes get a sitter. Maybe have sex in different places. When u go out with ur girls, dress up sexy and not for anyone but ur self. Tell him how u feel and tell him u don;t care if he wants to listen. If you don't love him, divorce him. Think of fun things he really likes to do or suprise him with tickets to something. We watch movies sometimes and cuddle and go out to dinner or hang with friends. Bowling, bars,movies, paintball(?), vacation??

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:52 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • I can also relate. My biggest problem is he doesn't want to get away for a few days or anything. It's like he doesn't give a d*mn! The only thing I can say is talk to him about it....maybe it will work for you, It hasn't for me!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • You don't connect? You Suggest Spice? Okay, just do it. Sounds like if you lead he may follow. Leave the love note - post it note on the toilet when he pees or something funny, bring those aspects of the fun friendship times into play. Wear the lingerie don't suggest it.... JUST DO. If he don't then..... drastic measures. Suddenly you have plans, suddenly you can't be reached you have to get the pursuit going again! Good luck.

    Answer by notjustamom380 at 8:00 PM on Oct. 16, 2008