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Mom/grandma stepping on toes

I recently had a baby and my mom has helped out now and then. She calls everyday to check in on baby and I am grateful for her help but she undermines me as a parent and can even say downright hurtful things. She constantly implies I am not doing a good enough job parenting my son (which is hard because we all know about the new mom guilt) Today she told me point blank that she could do a better job raising him. It made me cry. Is there a way I can confront her on this or should I just bite my tongue.

 
humaniterian87

Asked by humaniterian87 at 6:25 PM on Oct. 15, 2008 in Relationships

Level 2 (13 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Put some distance between you and your mom. Find moms to connect and share with and learn from. Surround yourself with women to build you up. BTW, NOBODY can raise your son better than you. You are his mother so you are the best one for the job. It's ok to not answer the phone or have her over for awhile. When I was really angry with my mother, I would only communicate by email. I could express my feelings without losing my cool. I could also think more clearly when I read her emails. Eventually, I said what I had to say and established boundries for when we get together. Put you and your son's needs before your mother's. When we become mothers, sometimes we become our own woman as well but not without a struggle. You need to be honest about how hurtful she was and express your expectation that she will not speak negatively about you as a mother, period.
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 7:16 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • Oh my gosh......you poor thing :( I know the new mom guilt and the mom/grandmas that think they could do everything better and I am so sorry that you are going through this. All I can say is its better to speak up about how this makes you feel and deal with this now instead of later. Trust you are doing a great job and talk to your mom ASAP
    jokermom

    Answer by jokermom at 6:31 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • I would tell my mom straight up to shut her mouth or stay the hell away. I know its your mom and you love her, but if she is going to be that disrespectful you need to put her in her place. You dont deserve that and I think you just gotta get tough with her.
    JoonBug21

    Answer by JoonBug21 at 6:31 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • Dont bite your tounge. First off it will hurt and second it wont help.

    Tell her exactly what you feel and that you NOT like her way of talking to you and about your parenting. Tell her that you dont want to see her anymore unless she will stop that. If she is a smart woman then she will understand you and stop it.

    She needs to accept that YOU are his mom.
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 6:34 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • Tell her you might be a better mom if only you had had a better role model
    VAMommyX4

    Answer by VAMommyX4 at 8:51 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

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