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How to deal with terrible in-laws?

So I've always disliked my MIL because she has always been awful to me since the day I met her. I'm always nice but at the same time I try to be myself because my DH's family has always tried to tell me how I need to act or who I need to be. Well I'm white and they are korean and they think I need to become just like them and follow their rules because they are right and us white folk just dont know how to act. Haha. The funny thing is they are one of the most rude, disrespectful families I've ever met. So my husband has always refused to admit how awful they are and always sides with them and has put me down a lot in th past because of things they have said. How do I deal with this?

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:54 PM on Oct. 15, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (2)
  • I'm sorry but if my husband always sided with his family when they are mean to me and had put me down in front of them as well, I would have been gone a long time ago. That is disrespectful of your husband to do that, and or his family to do the same. Sound to me hes stuck on the whole male dominates thing. That is something korens believe alot in. Sorry hun, I dont have a good answer for you. This is just what I would do. Id leave him. If hes willing to put you down in front of them, then he dosent love you and respect you the way a husband should. period!

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 7:02 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • I would be more concerned about what my husband thinks than my in laws. Have you had a thorough discussion about your cultural differences? I can imagine your culture is very different in terms of how women act, speak, treat men, etc. I would say the general rule would be to "do in Rome as the Romans do". When you are in their home or at their events, be respectful of them to the point that you behave the way they expect. It doesn't mean you can't be yourself. It means you will need to maybe tone it down temporarily. When they are in your home, at your events, they need to to the same. It won't mean his mama gets on the table and dances but it may mean she is more sociable with your family. They are examples only because I don't know your specifics. I wish you peace!

    Answer by manna1qd at 7:04 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

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