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5 Bumps

Should i tell my son about his biological father?

My son is 5 now he has not seen or heard from his biological fater since he was 1. I have been with my husband since my son was 7 months so he is the only father he knows. The biological father is a looser and when i tell him that i wanted to introduce them he had the nerve to complane that i have him on child support that he doesnt even pay and complane about that the mother to his other children took them away and called the cops on him. I think i am going to wait for the day my son ask and tell him his biological father died.

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Sep. 10, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (28)
  • tough decision. Good Luck!!!

    Answer by dancer at 3:42 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I wouldn't lie to him. What if he gets a lot older and finds out the truth? He'll hate you.
    When he ask tell him the truth. Tell him his daddy was a loser.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:44 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I agree w/ mommy of two.

    Answer by xxMasonsMommaxx at 3:49 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I would wait until he's old enough to understand how life sucks sometimes, but I wouldn't say his be was dead unless he was. His dad may be a LOSER, but you don't need to compound it by being a liar. You don't know what the future holds, so just take it one day at a time.

    Answer by dullscissors at 3:50 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Tell him your relationship with his father would have been a mistake EXCEPT that he was born. Just tell it like "Whew, we're lucky he doesn't come around." I think it is fine to wait until he asks.

    Answer by Hazelnutkin at 3:50 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • "Bd"...dang cell phone. LoL!

    Answer by dullscissors at 3:52 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I'd wait until your son is old enough to understand and tell him his dad is a loser...but in terms he'll understand. I'd also tell him that just because he is biologically his father does not make him his Dad.

    Answer by Mrs.B3 at 3:58 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I wouldn't lie, because when he does find out the truth hes going to be one pissed off kid. But I would wait until hes old enough to understand, then tell him he can't meet his father until he's at least 16. Your child is going to need to make up his mind about his real father for hisself, you can't bash him or whatever. HE NEEDS TO MAKE THAT CHOICE...

    As he is only five, I'd let it go for right now. Don't worry about it until he starts asking questions... Then Id be honest & tell him that he's not a nice man & then let him make up his mind about seeing him or not.

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 3:59 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Tell him the truth in words that he can understand. Do not tell him his daddy was a loser because most likely he'll hear that you're calling him a loser. Don't lie, but be kind when talking to your son about his father. Secrets and Lies always come back to bite you in the but. Just because his father doesn't deserve to have a relationship with his son doesn't mean your son doesn't deserve to know him if he wants to.

    Answer by onethentwins at 4:22 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • i wouldnt tell him hes dead..i wouldnt do anything until he asks.....does he call your husband, dad??

    Answer by alexis_06 at 7:45 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

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