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My husband really dosn't want to be with me any more. I had another post kind of a cont.

Ok, so he really is just 110% over trying to be a family. He is too lazy to try, because he says "I never wanted to be married in the first place." To me his not trying makes me feel like he doesn't even care about the kids.
Anyway the question is..pre-school for my oldest dd starts on tuesday (she's been going for 2 years now!) She has a best friend there, and they go to swim lessons together and play dates at her house...I am VERY worried to pack the kids and i up and go to my parents house, i am afraid of how my dd will react. she is 4 1/2. he said he isn't going to kick me out of the house and i can move with him when his recruiting orders are up, but i dont know what to do. obviously leaving is probably the right decision but i am SO concerned about my kids and i haven't been able to eat. Thank you for the support ladies. I am having a really hard time with this!

 
anikahaynes1

Asked by anikahaynes1 at 4:19 PM on Sep. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,798 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • You can change that! I never finished college and I just started at the end of August. I know I still have a long road ahead of me but I am takeing charge of my life and not allowing myself to be oppresses by my husband any longer. I think you should read a book called codependent no more it might help you. You can do this. I don't want a divorce but I will not allow things to go back the way they were. I don't think we will work things out at this point and I am ok with that. You need to take this time and find yourself. You might even consider going to talk to someone I highly recommend solution oriented therepy
    KyliesMom5

    Answer by KyliesMom5 at 5:40 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • She'll adjust. You need to move and help make a smooth transition for her with no conflicting messages and no drama. If the relationship is over, being there with him is not the right thing to do.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 4:30 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Remember kids adjust better then adults do. She might be upset, she might act out, but she will get better over time. Moving is a normal thing, But it is a major change, do everything you can to get her adjusted, a new pre-school, play dates whatever in the new area. Im sorry your going through this. =,( I really hope things get better & you guys get adjusted.
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 4:24 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • You gotta do whats best for you and your kids. Living with a man that doesn't want a family, is no way to live. Unfortunately, the kids will have some struggles, but they are stronger than people give them credit for. It's better to just get it over with and make a clean break now. Are they his kids? I wuld probably stay in the house, if he left, but if he is unwilling to leave, then I would go to my parents. You do need a strong support system right now. Sorry you are going through this.
    JGRIMMER

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 4:26 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • kids always make new friends easier and you could establish another relationship with her new friend like the one she has now to make the transition easier for her. we moved a lot and i'm not scarred from it.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 4:28 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I feel for you
    i will say a prayer for you and your kids

    I am in almost same situation
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 4:35 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I dont have a great relationship with my parents so a great support system isn't really there. They will take the kids and i in with them, and help out finacially how they can until I get on my feet, but as far as emotionally supporting me, thats a big fat ZERO!!! :( And yes these are HIS children as well. So he really is just giving up everything!

    I also personally think he is pissed because we didn't have a boy. We ended up with 2 girls and he is always talking about how it would be awesome if we had a boy this or that. I think he is really resenting that as well. he is so immature, it has hurt me so much i know its time to move on. I am so sad about leaving her pre-school though, it is one of the BEST pre-schools Ive ever seen and there is nothing like this one up where my parents live. :( plus where am i going to move all of our stuff to, there isn't room at my parents house for all of our stuff! :(
    anikahaynes1

    Comment by anikahaynes1 (original poster) at 4:50 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I feel for you! My husband walked out on us at the end of May. After he verbally threatened me. I packed up our stuff and moved an hour and a half away from home. It has been an adjustment for my daughter and myself. But it is the best thing I could have done. My husband or ex whatever has been a complete a$$,jerking me around and not being a good parent. My daughter is 7 years old and it was hard on her at first but she has adapted well. I have been able to take these past few months and reevaluate everything. I have found out many things aobut myself and am doing very well to the point that Mike seems to be regretting his decision. He HATES that I am doing so well when he is not. I have even gone back to school. Kylie misses her friends but we make a point to go back to Richmond regularly so that she can see her best friend. She has also made a bunch of new friends
    KyliesMom5

    Answer by KyliesMom5 at 5:09 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Thanks kylies moms5...I wish i could say i would be doing better off with out my husband, but truth of the matter is, i wont. I have no college education, and no work experiance. I know both are my fault but thats beside the point now. He has 8 years under his belt in the army and is doing awesome in his career. :( Thank you for sharing your story with me and thank you for telling me about your daughter. My dd is only 4 so maybe she will forget about her friend?
    anikahaynes1

    Comment by anikahaynes1 (original poster) at 5:14 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

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