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*update* I know I am probably going about this the wrong way but.......(please no bashing)

I know it is a horrible mess and it truly is one of those things where if I could take it back I would....the twins are definitely NOT his, she does know who the father is. It just upsets me that I actually broke down and told him how I feel and he is still pushing me, I already go to school full time and work full time and only get to see my children for about 2 hours a day when I have to do both. He wants to be with both of us, and like I told him I just dont want that anymore, I really wish he would understand...I dont want to leave him

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:02 PM on Sep. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • make him choose. Tell him it's either me or her. He's not respecting how you feel. He wants his dinner and desert. This girl sounds like a whore and a home wrecker. Tell her to back off
    BeautytheBeast

    Answer by BeautytheBeast at 5:04 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Wow, I personally would never share my husband. It was you he married, and had children with. I would give him a choice "either its you and the children, or its her" and make it clear. You clearly have what it takes to support your children on your own, since you are the "bread winner". In the end though, you need to do what you feel is right, and most importantly LEARN from this experience.
    xxmama2k08

    Answer by xxmama2k08 at 5:08 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I will stick by my post on the last thread: You are the breadwinner. You did not want her back in your lives and DH disrespected that. You give her notice (just like a landlord / tenant relationship because that's how YOU see it) and your husband can accept it or give him notice too. My ex husband did these kinds of things, only without the interest of intimacy on MY part, his only, and it was the beginning of his "other" life with his "other wife". Stop it now or it will get worse!! Good luck to you
    silversmom

    Answer by silversmom at 5:12 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • a couple is the number 2
    three is not a relationship it is a sex party
    not a good way to raise a family
    sounds like he wants her more than you=sorry
    or he is ocushing to have both and will back down when you tell me to pick one
    if he is not working, other woman is not working
    he has you to support him-he may choose you, but do you want him to choose you because of that

    you sopporting him, her, your children and her children
    YIKES

    tell him to ship up or ship out
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 5:18 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • If this question is real then....leave him. If not, be prepared to be his doormat the rest of your life. What a douche bag. And partly your fault for not having any balls.
    MissAlisabeth

    Answer by MissAlisabeth at 5:38 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I'm not going to bash on your lifestyle, although I don't agree. I just want to say that I can see quite a fee things wrong with this situation... 1) Your husband doesn't work and is now expecting YOU to support a woman who left you guys as well? 2) Even in a relationship like yours, the marriage should ALWAYS come first. He is NOT putting your marriage first.

    I agree with fiatpax on the fact that it does sound like he may want her more then you. In which case, do you really want to be the third wheel in your own marriage? Let alone teach your children that it is ok to be treated this way?

    He needs to choose, you or her. If he gets pissed then tell him you will make the decision for him if he cannot be a respectful part of your marriage. GL - I would definitely think twice before putting myself into that situation again...
    allfiller

    Answer by allfiller at 7:19 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • What was your arrangement before she moved in the first time? Did you agree your relationship is the primary and she was just an addon? Or did you include her in the relationship? Is he in love with her?
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 8:01 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I understand you want you relationship with him to work, but as it stands, it's not working. And he's not willing to make it work. He's not budging. If your name isn't on the rent/mortgage, leave. Let the 2 of them figure it out. If it is, kick them out, let them figure it out. He needs to respect you, but he isn't. Stand up for yourself. You are teaching your kids that this is acceptable. And it's not. He doesn't have the right to get pissed at you for you expressing your feelings. This is a huge mess. And since he's not bothering to be a man, you need to either give him the ultimatum of being a man, or leave.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:12 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

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