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3 Bumps

Control issue or guy thing?

My dh always has to question me when I have a request. Like today I asked him to change the baby into something warmer, he asked me what was wrong with what the baby has on. I'll request something, or have an opinion, and he always has to question me or make me EXPLAIN myself. I can't just say, "Just BECAUSE!" Is this a guy thing, or a control issue that he has?

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Amber211

Asked by Amber211 at 5:15 PM on Sep. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (884 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I hate saying it's a guy thing because i know so many guys who don't fit into that mold. Maybe he's trying to learn why you think it's necessary so when he's in charge he'll have more confidence. I don't think it's a control issue.
    silversmom

    Answer by silversmom at 5:17 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Yes I have that as well i used to thnk it was a guy thing now I wonder? GL Momma let me know what you find out???
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:18 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • i just wish he would let me be in charge without questioning me all of the time!!
    Amber211

    Comment by Amber211 (original poster) at 5:18 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I think it's a guy thing, but tell him, "Because you're his father, you have two hands, and you're just as capable of changing the baby as I am, and I asked YOU to do it!"....my DH asked me to make him some mac and cheese the other day, which isn't an outrageous request, however, I was SWAMPED with laundry, and was doing my best to get through it, and he wasn't doing anything except playing on the computer. I told him flat out, "I would, but I'm busy. You have two arms, two hands, and two legs. There's the kitchen...the pots are in the drawer under the stove, and you know how to turn the water on!"
    DereksBabyMomma

    Answer by DereksBabyMomma at 5:20 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I think it's a guy thing, but only in some guys. My husband does the same thing...it's like wracking his brain for bogus excuses is less tiring than actually doing what I asked. LOL. I don't think it's a control issue; if it were, I think he'd probably take issue with the way you do even the littlest things. If he starts putting down everything you do, that's different and not very healthy. But if he's just being kind of a pain in the butt, well, it's normal in my book. :)
    aliceryannesmom

    Answer by aliceryannesmom at 5:20 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • maybe he is just lazy
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 5:22 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • So it isn't his way. If it's his way, and you just say, well it gets cold now. PERIOD. Then he thinks you aren't going to answer, then you'll give in and just do it alone , and he gets his way again. Men are "p***ks when it comes to doing stuff at times.
    If you were to need him to make dinner I can't imagine how he'd be when the dishes are waiting to be done. I did the food prep, cook, the clothes, housekeep, the baby's changing, and he'd say if I can do something let me know. And once in a great while (unless I've left) he'd do something without me asking or having done it myself already. Mine is only interested in getting food. (since he carries a piece of luggage from his childhood of being starved all the time) Now we eat total junk. Never fish. Never white pork, just bacon. So your man perhaps didn't do the baby thing right, but is good at totally something else. Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I think it is a control issue. Next time you ask him to do something, save both of you the need for discussion and explain from the start. Dear, please put the baby in warmer clothes, it is too chilly for what he has on. Or, Dear, the baby needs warmer clothing, and I am up to my elbows in dishwater, please... " In time, he might understand without your needing to explain. And if it is a control issue as I suspect, then you'll find out.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 5:24 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • On second thought, maybe it is a little bit of a control issue. I was thinking it's not indication that he wants to be in control, BUT it could be that he needs to feel a part of the decision process. It's emasculating to some men to just go along with what their wife says, so it may be that he's trying to feel like he had some say in it. Anyway, hope that helps. :)
    aliceryannesmom

    Answer by aliceryannesmom at 5:26 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Hahah, in my case it's a LAZY thing... not a control thing. Hubby just doesn't want to do whatever I've asked him to do, so he asks why. It's just like with the kids. If you say something they don't want to hear, you get "why?"... to which you answer "Because I asked you to/said so". Maybe the next couple times your hubby asks you to do something, you should ask him why. See how he likes it. If you start doing it back to him, I bet he'll quit doing it to you.
    SAHMomOf3

    Answer by SAHMomOf3 at 5:27 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

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