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WTF is going on?!

My SO and I have had a bad few months. He gave up on us and told me he wasn't happy and that I couldn't make him happy anymore. He told me to leave, so I arranged to move back home by my family (400 miles away) I quit my job, pulled my DD out of school, told my family and my DD we were moving. (My DD is not his but he did fill the shoes for the past year that we have lived together) Now, my DD and I are leaving tonight and he starts telling me he made a mistake and this isn't what he wanted. Its great to hear, but I can't just stay now, I have no job or anything here and we are leaving today. WTF is going on and what do I do?

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allfiller

Asked by allfiller at 6:54 PM on Sep. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (802 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • If he made up his mind and asked you to leave... then retracted and said don't go- I'd only assume you would go through this all over again a month from now. How do you feel about your relationship?? Are YOU ready to leave it?
    CarlyCo

    Answer by CarlyCo at 6:56 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I'd still leave. I"m sorry, but if he waited until the time you were leaving to tell you that he made a mistake i'd still leave! You did all that and sorry isn't going to make up for it. It wouldn't be a bad thing to have time apart...
    CABlonde

    Answer by CABlonde at 6:57 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I love him, to be honest I was at my end too and I felt like something needed to change, but I didn't think it was breaking up, I was thinking counseling or something. I'm really hurt and i'm not sure if he is asking me because he wants me or because he is afraid of being alone...
    allfiller

    Comment by allfiller (original poster) at 6:57 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • He's realizing that you are seriously thinking about moving back to where you started and it scares him to no end. Do what you said you were going to do, and let him suffer!!
    MomtoMichael2

    Answer by MomtoMichael2 at 6:58 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • It sounds like it finally sunk in that you were leaving. He's probably either really confused and doesn't know what he wants or he didn't really expect you to leave like he said to. I'm not sure what I'd do in the situation, I'd probably say it was too late to change plans and that relationship counseling would be good before moving back in but with you going so far away I don't really know...
    R_Kay

    Answer by R_Kay at 6:58 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • If i were you i would leave and get on with your life don't make you and childs life revolve around someone who can't make up there mind on weather or not they want to be with you. You and your child are not his personal toys and that is how he is treating you by telling you something really hurtful and then trying to take it back without really giving you a good reason. If he truly wants you back he will treat you like gold and devote himself to you even though you moved out otherwise he'll go on with his life and you'll know he really didn't want you. GL
    megclark22

    Answer by megclark22 at 7:44 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Go. Leave. He will do this again, and again. He told you he's unhappy, and that you can't make him happy anymore. You already quit your job, and pulled your daughter out of school. You can't put your daughter on this emotional roller coaster that he's trying to put you on. So, go. You have a place to go, a safe place, with support. Leave. She's not his, you aren't married, right? You said SO, not hubby. So go, you have no ties, just that you love him. But your DD doesn't deserve to be on his little emotional roller coaster, and neither do you.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 7:56 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I think you should leave. You've already told your daughter that you're leaving. She needs stability and your so can't make these types of decisions on a whim! I agree with the pp who said it'll occur again. He decided without warning that he wants you to go and I gaurantee when things get back to the grind he'll be "unhappy" again. Plus, his happiness is not your responsibility.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:57 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I would leave, if he really loves you he will either follow you, or take the necessary steps to be sure that this is what he wants. He could just be afraid to be alone and doesn´t want you to leave. I would need to see some change before staying, and you don´t have time for that since you are leaving tonight, so, I would go..
    Luisa621

    Answer by Luisa621 at 4:24 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

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