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i feel like such a bad mom

i'm at the end of my rope. my 21 month old son was making me so mad tonight before bed. he knows he has to pee right before he goes to sleep, but he just sat there. then when i got him off the toilet he would scream that he had to pee. he didnt want to go because he knew that meant he had to go to bed. it has been such a long day. i have 2 young kids both very sick. i found myself yelling at him so loud. i even grabbed his arms and yelled at his face. i didnt hurt him, but i know i grabbed them harder than i wanted to. i finally laid him in bed and shut the door and went downstairs. i cried for about 5 minutes, then went back upstairs, read him another story, and apologized to him. then he peed in the potty right away. ive never felt like i could snap more than i did tonight. i feel so awful. what can i do to get past this and never let it happen again?

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Asked by sweetjpea at 10:22 PM on Sep. 10, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 9 (367 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I think that you won't do it again. You obviously feel really bad. All parents have these moments, I don't care what they say. You're human, and sometimes your emotions and fatigue get to you. Just learn from it. Next time, take a step back, breathe, and remind yourself that he doesn't really understand things like we do. I know you know that, but sometimes I have to remind myself that my son isn't doing something just to be bad. Now, relax and just promise yourself to handle it better next time. Kids are forgiving, and I'm sure you can make it up to him. :)

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 10:30 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • You aren't a bad mom, you are a super stressed. Keep this memory with you and never forget how it made you feel and you won't repeat what happened. He's little yet and at 21 mos. old I don't think he was really thinking as deeply as it might seem. He wasn't trying to get out of going to bed and not everyone can pee on command, especially not an almost 2yo. Once your LO's are in bed, take a bath and just relax. It sounds like you need a little bit of time to yourself to regroup. ((((((HUGS)))))))

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 10:31 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • When I get like that.. and believe me, it happens a lot.. I walk away. I go in a quiet room and sit there for a few minutes. Then I repeat to myself, sometimes out loud, "If they weren't here tomorrow, I would miss them." Reminding myself how much I love them and that my world would be nothing without them seems to put things into perspective. Apologizing to him was a good thing, because that teaches him that you respect enough to admit that even you can do wrong sometimes. Give him lots of extra cuddles and play close attention to how it feels to hold him in your arms. Use that memory also to calm down next time. I usually think of the feel of my ds's little hand on my cheek. He does that often right before he kisses me. :)
    I hope that helps.

    Answer by Megs5384 at 10:33 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Then I repeat to myself, sometimes out loud, "If they weren't here tomorrow, I would miss them.""

    Aww. :( I know, I think this too. It instantly just makes me want to hug and kiss him.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 10:36 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Next time you need to let him sit there, walk away for a few minutes and calm yourself down. We've all been at the end of our rope and it's easy to just jump off at times, but it's important to check yourself. You're not a bad mother. You did the right thing by going upstairs and apologizing to him and explaining why you got so mad. That was a great move and really was the right thing to do.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:49 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • It happens to the best of us. Youve made amend with your son.

    Answer by katcb1019 at 11:04 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • It's one of those things that happens to parents sometimes......if you didnt' feel bad, then you would have something to worry about.

    Answer by hsmominky at 11:06 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I had a night like that once. It hasn't happened since then and I know it probably won't again. It is hard not to beat yourself up. but realizing how uncomfortable and unlike yourself you acted is important. Apologizing to your son was the right thing to do. try not to get too down on yourself.

    Answer by bloomsr at 11:27 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Chalk it upto another point for mother of the year award. Be aware and give yourself mommy time outs when you need it. I still remember screaming in a pillow for release with my 1st child and she is 22. :-) Think of what you can do for some creative coping skills when it starts to control you. I don't care what it is, sing the alphabet, go to the mirror and stick your tounge out. Anything that breaks the burden. If you can get yourself to laugh it will disappear.

    Answer by LeJane at 11:32 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • You're only human and yes things can get to you whether you like it or not. I've been there. The best thing to do is apologize to your child and explain why on their level. Sometimes kids do things to test us. The best thing you can do is learn from your mistakes and move on. It is also possible your son won't want to see that side of you again. Just remember, take one day at a time.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:28 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

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