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3 Bumps

i am so embarrassed!

a few nights ago, my 9 year old daughter emma's girl scout troop was having a sleepover at our house, with most of the girls other moms there as well. around midnight when everyone was asleep in our living room, we hear a lot of rustling at the door, and then we hear falling, laughing, all this other stuff. it being so late, we all got a little scared and we turn on the lights to the front room and see my 18 year old son ryan, obviously drunk, laying on the stairs making out on top of a girl who just so happens to be ANOTHER MOM IN THE TROOPS DAUGHTER! she was there, and obviously furious, seeing as her daughter(17) was drunk too. then the girls woke up and saw what was happening...and everything just went downhill from there. i feel as if i should have been more mad like the other mom is, but i didn't handle it that way. i feel like i made the other moms think as if i allow these things to happen all the time. any advice? thx

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:29 PM on Sep. 10, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (14)
  • &just to fix any confusion, it was the moms OTHER daughter, not the one that was attending the sleepover at our house.
    xxDianaxx

    Answer by xxDianaxx at 11:30 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Handle it the way you normally would. Don't worry about what others think about your parenting, it's not their business how you handle it.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:30 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • It sounds to me like you need to put down some strict rules and consequences in your house. I would also have a meeting or something to talk to the kids Mothers to explain what happened. If not for yourself, for your Daughter. You don't want the Moms to keep their kids away from your Daughter because they are upset about what happened.
    hsmominky

    Answer by hsmominky at 11:36 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • If your upset, call & explain your embarassed and just didn't react the way you should have. It shouldn't have happened, and tell her it won't ag(hopefully). I'd say that's about all you can do, is say I'm sorry at this point.
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 11:39 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Well for me I would not have handled anything in front of the the other people either. I never would punish my son in front of other people because I hate the way it makes me feel when someone screams at their kid in front of me. Plus I think that punishment does not have to be embarrassing. Oh, and my main goal would have been to get the little ones away from seeing this. I don't think you should worry about what they think in any way, shape or form. You deal with your son the way you see fit, let the other Mom handle it her own way.
    Peajewel

    Answer by Peajewel at 11:41 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • What exactly does getting mad after the fact accomplish? Does it make either of them less drunk? Does it get your son off from on top of her daughter?

    I am betting the other Mom was more upset at being embarrassed infront of everyone - just like you - and expressed her embarrassment as anger.

    Are any of us really going to pretend that 1) teenagers don't drink or 2) that teenagers are celibate and chaste? I think teens respond better to a calm mature adult conversation. yelling only puts them on the defensive and accomplishes nothing but giving you a headache
    Maureen-MD

    Answer by Maureen-MD at 11:57 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • Wouldn't you think that the 17 yrs old girls mother told her she was going to be there? I'm sure your son knew about it too. It sounds like they were so buzzed out of their minds that they forgot about the sleepover. But it still doesn't excuse it. The real question is, where did they get drunk at? Whoever gave them the alcohol is the one to blame, and I hope you find out where it came from. Both of you need to confront the other parent. Obviously the older kids weren't thinking when they came through that door. I'm sure that during the whole situation, not only were you both mad, but probably embarrassed as well.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 11:58 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • It is darn hard to control an 18 year old. As shown, they do about what they want. Her dtr was just as guilty as your son. His timing was TERRIBLE. Did they not know that both of their moms would be there? Grrrr.
    Don't feel too bad, their day is comin. ( The other moms that is)
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 11:59 PM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • I cant help but think its kinda funny.. sorry!
    But I bet the mom was even MORE embarrassed by her daughter than of your son. (You know girls are to be virgins till married but boys can do as they please theory)...
    I bet she is more worried over what you think of her daughter & her family.. Put yourself in her shoes --- Her daughter came to your house & decided it was OK to make out with him on his stairs! (ur son felt at home though!)
    I would call her to clear the air & make sure there are no hard feelings & clear up any miss understandings..

    I may worry MORE about the other moms.. Since they are the "outsiders" in all this & may worry more over what their kids witnessed than anything else..
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 12:29 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Wow. That a mess. I honestly don't have any advice. I guess all you can do is speak to the other mothers and tell them this is NOT something you allow and that your son is being punished, etc. It will be their choice whether or not they believe you..
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 10:20 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

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