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When is it okay to step in?

Ok. I have a friend staying at my house and her boyfriend is not the most mature person. And shes pregnant with his baby.
This guy is down right horrible to her! He complains about her alllll the time- TO HER! He's rough with her, there's a difference between playing and being rough. He doesnt save money for a place to live or food to eat, and my husband and I are supporting them until he does. I took her to apply for assistance but still. He needs to grow up.
I'm fustrated because we're going broke, we have our own new baby and we are trying to get ourselfs settled. And I can't stand watching a good girl be treated wrong.
When is it ok to say something? And how should I say it?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:00 PM on Oct. 15, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I don't think you should delay telling him straight up any longer. Your family is going broke and you're supporting an ungrateful person that's totally not worth it! Your friend needs to understand that you need to raise your kids as well. Tell her she can find someone much better and that she's worth much more than what he offers(nothing!) Don't make it sound like you're accusing anybody, just let her know that you want the best for her and don't want to see her hurt.
    sweetvietchic

    Answer by sweetvietchic at 9:50 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • It's okay when it is happening under your roof and in front of you. Tell him "I will not allow you disrespect my friend in my house. Shape up or ship out."

    Of course she will probably support his dumbass and tell you to butt out. Then if he leaves she will go to. That's usually the way it works.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:18 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • right now! she needs a wake up call. you should try to convince her to maybe give the baby up for adoption and leave the loser by the curb. she won't be able to care for it and you guys shouldn't. he might injure the baby. you know shaken baby syndrome. he will never grow up cause it's like you said to immature. she is too for not seeing the truth. save this baby and have her give this baby a life with happiness and security. as all baby's deserve.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 9:34 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • I agree with these other ladies...your family needs to come first. Helping someone who is trying to help themselves are one thing, but it sounds like this person is deliberately taking advantage of you. Time to cut the strings and think of your family now.
    rhope4

    Answer by rhope4 at 9:55 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • I would say she can stay but he needs to go. The reality is she KNOWS he treats her like garbage but for some reason doesnt feel she deserves better. But your family does. She will either get mad and leave with him (she will get mad eventually regardless because yuo cant support them anyways and somehow she will twist this in to being your fault) or she will be better off without him and find a way to make it work and thank you for helping her to be a success
    humaniterian87

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 10:43 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • It's your house. You have every right to tell him he is not welcome in your house if he is disrespecting anyone who lives there. You should put your foot down on this immediately. If your friend doesn't like it, she can leave with him and then God help that family. But who said you are obligated to support two households anyway? This is a bad idea all the way around. It's going to hurt everyone in the long run.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 2:26 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

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