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2 Bumps

Do you tell your teenager which friends they can and can not hang out with?

I am not one for restricting my daughter to such things, but when these girls are causing trouble and are the biggest drama queens EVER, my foot tends to stomp!

 
Ks_mom94

Asked by Ks_mom94 at 2:43 AM on Sep. 11, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 11 (608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I have 4 girls they are 24,23,19 and 17
    I have learned one thing and that is no matter how much you restrict the more the will rebel. you can't watch them all the time and they will go behind you back...so what I am doing now with the last one is telling her what I do not like about certain girls and I talk to her about making her own right choices and even though she is around them she can still say no and she knows if she is stuck somewhere she can call. It is better to be open and honest give them the tools they need to be their own person and to say "No I'm not going to do that" and "you can mess up your life but I'm not messing up mine"
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 3:56 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • You don't pick her friends, but you can pick WHERE she spends time with which friends. You don't like the behavior of some, but know that banning the friendship would just push her to go behind your back - have them hang out at your house - then it becomes a "my house, my rules" situation.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:06 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I think that a parent's job is to watch out for and know who their children are associating with and influenced by. I think that sitting down and talking about the REASONS why certain people are less desirable to be around is a good idea. Ask questions of your teen as to what their values are and if they really think that these kids are the smartest choices in friends. Sometimes it can open the door for some serious evaluation and communication on a different level.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 10:18 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Is she under 18? Is she still living in your house? Then heck ya, I'd tell her to stay away from them. I'm her mother and I'm responsible for her. Hopefully she will respect you on that and not rebel.
    ruthie11617

    Answer by ruthie11617 at 3:16 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Well shes 13 months old but I do plan on being the main person that picks her friends...I cant just be having her run around with anybody...Kids do crazy sh*t these days!
    mommy16love

    Answer by mommy16love at 3:17 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • thing is that doesn't work unless your attached at the hip to them 24/7. As soon as you aren't around they are pretty free to do as they will and they WILL ;) lol

    you can tell them whatever you want and expect them to do it, absolutely, but young adults tend to do what they want when mom and dad aren't around and there's really no way to know who they were hanging with or if so-and-so happened by and starting hanging out with em at the mall or whatever. There's only so much we can control.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 6:48 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • no. You teach them as the grow up to respect themselves, to respect others, that drugs are no good, you teach them about sex and all that involves, you tell them you love them every day and show it, you spend time with them and have an open trusting relationship and you shouldn't HAVE to choose their friends. My daughter has had a few less than great ones but in the end she weeds them out on her own becuase she sees that she does not want to go down the road they are taking and realises when people are toxic

    if you try to pick their friends it will only make your child more distant and more determined to be around them
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 8:41 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I would never decide who my children can and can't be friends with. Those are lessons they have to learn on their own!
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:17 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Yes! It is part of being a parent. My MOM did it and I am glad she did. So, yes, for my child there is an opinion offered when I feel it is needed. There is a certain set of values, rules, and morals that goes in our household and they are followed.
    JOCKEYP2PMOM

    Answer by JOCKEYP2PMOM at 1:13 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • It is hard to know where to step in on friendships that we, as parents can tell are going in a bad direction. I think we have to keep an open mind, but talk to our kids about our qualms. And step in when/if things start to go off track.
    cleanaturalady

    Answer by cleanaturalady at 3:30 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

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