Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Ok so I'm trying something out with my husband.

Last time I was pregnant (& eventually miscarried) he told me, while mad, to stop telling him symptoms & just show him the test when I took it. The time before that with my son he never asked any questions or showed much interest in my pregnancy unless I brought up the topic. Now, don't think he's not a great, sweet guy because he is, he just assumes that I've got it handled & will tell him if he needs to know something ( true I guess haha), but still! He should show his own interest! I feel like I'd be a lot more loving right now if he were asking questions or even asked how far along I am. :/

So I'm trying something. I'm not going to update him on how many wks I am or anything like that, I'm just going to wait to see when he eventually asks. I'm 5.2wks right now & plan on waiting like 3wks to test him. Do you think this is wrong? I'll update on here if he ever asked or the talk that we'll prob have.

Answer Question

Asked by ours at 9:27 AM on Sep. 11, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 13 (949 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • OP HERE - Oh and I forgot to add that I've ALREADY asked him nicely to make me feel more special about finally getting pregnant. After all, we've been trying almost a year. I told him that I wasn't feeling like I was getting any kind of attention and he wasn't showing much interest in what's going on. I haven't even gotten a card, or flowers, or anything. :[

    Stupid guys don't get how important things like this are. Even though I actually brought up that it would have been nice to get something as sort of a congratulations type of thing. Especially since I'm waiting to tell all my friends since I had a miscarriage before. :/

    Comment by ours (original poster) at 9:30 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I would just keep it to myself right now. Maybe he is just nervous. Many men don't want to think about some things until they know that all is well. I would stop obsessing about it because obviously it is causing you some stress. Just relax and and enjoy the pregnancy. Congratulations.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:33 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • just FYI - most men don't ask. All they wanna know is when "Its time"

    Answer by Zoeyis at 9:45 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • hope for you to have fun and be healthy my hubby didi ask but hope fully yours will get it soon do you ask him about his fishing or a thing he likes ew pretend to like each othere t.v. shows takecare

    Answer by goatmom4 at 9:48 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • First of all...congratulations. second...don't stress about it at all. I have the greatest husband who is sweet and caring but at the samsame time he is a man and men don't think about stuff like we do. I've had my feeling hurt many times and in the end its the same thing...its a man thing. They don't realize or think about things. Now I wait a little before I casually brings things to his attention and just talk and remind him how I feel.

    Answer by bandcmaitland at 9:54 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Congratulations on your pregnancy! He might be nervous about getting attached after a miscarriage, though I know that doesn't explain anything with your pregnancy with your son. Some guys are more involved, some are less, and it doesn't mean they're bad guys, but you can't force them to get involved (about as much as you can force them to see the things around the house that need to be cleaned... but if you can figure out this one, let me in on your secret!!). If you want him at any appointments, tell him when they are and where to be at what time. Some guys just need to know the hard details and where to be. They're the same way about planning the wedding, ya know? Guys are also not generally into the newborn thing, because a newborn just lays there, as opposed to older babies/toddlers, who actually play back and react to what they're doing, or older kids who can throw a ball and play tag and such.
    Good luck!

    Answer by musicpisces at 11:57 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • i really think thats a good idea i would be made if mine didnt show any interest

    Answer by eliesmommy1989 at 2:18 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • You know, I bet that he didn't want to know about all the symptoms because it was too much of an emotional roller coaster for him wondering "is she/isn't she?" You know that YOU felt that way, always wondering and hoping... he probably felt the same way but didn't know how to express his emotions (guys aren't the greatest at that a lot of times).
    I bet its not that he wasn't interested, but that he couldn't take all the analyzing every little twitch that might mean you're pregnant...

    anyway, are you saying that he doesn't even know yet that you're pregnant or he just doesn't know how far along you are?

    Answer by elizabiza at 2:31 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Pregnancy
very confused!!