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2 Bumps

I believe I am causing my kids horrible behavior and bad grades.

My kids have had to change schools so often. My daughter is in 5th grade and will be changing schools for the 5th time and my 1st grader will be going to his 3rd school. We have been moving every 6 months whether it be b/c of eviction or bad landlords. We can't afford much so we wind up getting bad landlords. Hopefully this move will be our last. How can we build our kids trust and happiness again? Or have we seriously damaged them? I would like for my kids to be happy kids and great students again. I feel so bad for the way we have not given our kids the stable home they deserve and NEED.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on Sep. 11, 2010 in Parenting Debate

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • A stable home is a great benefit to kids BUT sometimes that isn't possible. SO you do what you can. You provide a secure loving home environment even though the house itself may change. You provide nurturing and clear consistent expectations for your children. You make an effort to be involved in whatever school they are currently attending so your kids know education is important.

    Answer by bookworm23 at 9:37 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Studies show that consistent stable households do improve school performance (among other things). Research has proven that unstable living situations do cause exactly what you're describing. You're right. You've identified the problem.
    No, I wouldn't say they're "seriously damaged" - but some damage has been done, so it will take a little bit of time to heal. Get established in your new home and do everything you can to provide a stable consistent home life for your kids. Establish a routine. They need consistency. Building trust takes time and effort.
    As for happiness? no one can "gift" happiness onto another. They'll be happier when they feel secure, when they feel stable, when they make friends, when they begin to feel proud of improved grades and accomplishments.

    Answer by missingruth at 10:29 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • My friend billy grew up as an army brat, He also changed schools a bunch of times throughout his life. He seems to be normal, went to college & everything. She'll probably turn out OK. I would make it my mission though to at least try to stay in the same school district for the kids.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:19 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Your attitude is very important. Need to make it like a adventure, things will get better. Also you need to get involve in the school, volunteer.

    Answer by gammie at 10:27 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I( totally agree with samurai chica they well be OK

    Answer by elisabellaguna at 10:25 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • A stable home with consistent rules and expectations will improve both grades and behavior. You've got the right idea.

    Answer by ihatetocook at 10:44 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • You know lots of people move alot I think the best thing you can do for them is make everything as normal as possible until the next move. Be a family, help them with their homework, things will improve over time.

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 10:53 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I know what you mean. You need to stay up beat about this. It's not the moving that is bad but I bet you guys are super stressed and it's showing and can cause the kids to be stressed. Which is making them having a hard time at school.

    Answer by whoreallycares at 7:12 PM on Sep. 11, 2010