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8 Bumps


Ok so the Situation is my husband doesnt really take part in diciplining the kids (expecially his from a prior relationship) but when i talk to him about it he says ok i will do that but NEVER does so i end re-enforcing the house rules on HIS kid and ALWAYS being the bad guy im so fed up i dont know what to do Im tired of talking to him about it. Its like he says what he knows i want to hear but doesnt actually mean anything that comes out of his mouth! Grrr! I even have to enforece watching his language around the kids because he doesnt! What would you do if it just didnt seem like your husband cared about setting a good example for the kids and never did anything with your kid but all sorts of things with his kid?

Answer Question

Asked by bradymoma86 at 11:18 AM on Sep. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 8 (271 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • So do you have kids together or are all the kids from different relationships?

    Answer by louise2 at 11:24 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Try this one one - when he does one little tiny thing that you like, compliment him on it - using words like I appreciate that you....(put the remote away,,,,anything). This will slowly start building a hunger in him for the good stuff - and it will happen, but slowly. Don't get after him on what he doesn't do. I know it sounds wierd but it works.

    BTW, it's natural for everyone to pay more attention to their own kid than the kid of their spouse - the connections just stronger. Try not to notice or mention it - and just do what you're doing to do with all of the kids or just yours...just part of being a blended family.

    Answer by Maureenmich at 11:27 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • both kids are his one is just from a prior relationship. Im a firm believer in equal attention its not fair to one kid if the another one gets all the attention. the one that doesnt get the attention will grow up to resent the parent for not paying attention to them and resent the kid for getting all the attention and that is not kosher with me.

    Comment by bradymoma86 (original poster) at 11:30 AM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • You can't make someone change, does he have an answer as to why he favors one kid over another? Maybe he feels guilty about not being with his mom, or maybe he is just better around older kids. Does the older child spend time with his bio mom and dads trying to makeup for the time he is gone? A

    sk your DH to think about these questions and ask him to seriously think about what he is doing. In the end you can't change him, sorry but you have to find away to work around him if he doesn't budge.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 5:14 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I would make him be equal to each kid. Or nothing at all. Like ifhe is going somewhere and he want to only bring the child by the other women only. I would tell him you either bring bothe kids or none at all.
    Kids do not understand why Dad is treating one better then the other.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:49 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • He needs counseling on the parent role and how to be a good "supportive" husband. Churches offer this free. You can talk till you are blue in the face, but it won't change him. It has to come from an outsider for someone to point out you are right or you never will win this war. Sad that the kids have to suffer while Dad gets his act together. Plus, you don't need this and by the words you chose to use,,,counseling or an outside referee could not come soon enough. In the meantime, when he does not do it your way, get in the car and leave the house for any reason, even if it is to drive to get a coffee and remove yourself from the situation. He will begin to get the message. In the meantime, seek support. Good Luck!

    Answer by JOCKEYP2PMOM at 6:57 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

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