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if you tell a child they are a bad child does it really traumatize them?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Sep. 11, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (14)
  • If you tell them ONCE they are a bad child, no, it's not going to traumatize them. The issue comes in because people who say those things don't say them ONCE. They say it over and over until the child believes it... The issue is there is rarely a "Bad Child" it's the actions which are bad and need to be corrected, not the child.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:28 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I dont think *traumatize* is the right word. But if people keep telling them they are BAD... then of course that is exactly what they will be. Nobody can expect that telling a child they are bad will make them be good.

    Maybe traumatize is the right word though.

    A simple change in language makes a child feel very positive about themselves. Instead of saying "You are bad!" then they misbehave... DONT. Wait until they are doing something right and say "Wow you are being such a good boy/girl!!" And tell them what you like about what they are doing.

    Answer by wendy46121 at 1:15 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I have never told a child they were bad, I tell them that their behavior is. I believe that if a child (or even a adult) is told something like that over and over, they will begin to believe that they are a "bad child" and it can negatively affect them.

    Answer by Scuba at 1:13 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I don't know, I've never told my children they were bad. I've had NO problem telling them that their actions were bad, or they were acting like spoiled brats. But we all act like that, doesn't make a child bad

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 1:16 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • i only said it once. i ask her to do one simple thing and shes throwing a fit for an hour. what i asked her to do takes 5 minutes! i said you are bad and told her what it takes to be good.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:15 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • and shes 8 years old! i would have gotten my butt wooped for acting like this at that age! why is she doing this? she is stressing me out beyond how i have ever felt in my life!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:17 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • You should never tell a child that they are bad. You can tell them that you don't like what they are doing and that it is unacceptable. Always focus on the behavior of the child not the child as a whole, not their personality, but rather on their actions.

    Answer by QandA at 1:21 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • um no

    Answer by lorajberry at 1:22 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • YES. Tell them what they DID was bad. Don't tell them that THEY ARE BAD. The Behavior was bad, not the child.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:26 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I don't think its traumatizing per se but I do think its a little mean and hurtful. But just apologize and tell them you said something that wasn't nice. Its good to show kids that you know you shouldn't call people names either. :)

    Answer by karamille at 1:43 PM on Sep. 11, 2010