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How to tell my SIL...

When ever my husbands family comes to visit at OUR HOUSE they boss my children around. We are firm our kid's 3 yrs 10 mo both boys. but we don't forget that they are just kid's. My MIL makes up more rules then we have, I don't say anything to her because I want them to respect her, even if they don't listen I back her up. Well my SIL who doesn't have any kids is coming to visit how is a nice way to tell her to PLEASE leave the parenting up to us?

 
momontherun32

Asked by momontherun32 at 10:39 PM on Oct. 15, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • First off your are best off to ask your husband to adress the issue. If you try to do it yuo will simply be viewed at the b*tch of a daughter in law and not much will get accomplished. Now have your husband say, and not in front of the kids since you want them to respect you MIL and SIL "I really appreciate you trying to help out, but we have set our rules and boundaries for our youngin's and I really feel that they are enough. Too many rules and disciplining from too many different people might make things seem inconsistent and harder for them to follow the rules we do have." Then let them know what those rules are. AND that is the truth! Too many different sets of rules will confuse kids especially ones that young
    humaniterian87

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 10:47 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • If she starts to correct them tell her , well these are our family rules, and list whats important to yall. Ofcourse if they are messing with her things then that's different but as long as it's their own things then she needs to but out.
    myboogiewoogie

    Answer by myboogiewoogie at 10:41 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • I think the best thing to do is just let everyone know that the only people who are to disipline your kids or tell them what to do are you and your DH. Let them know that you appreciate the gesture, but it's not their place. Everyone who comes to my house knows that it is not their place to say anything to my son about his behavior.
    SLGross215

    Answer by SLGross215 at 10:42 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • Tell them to make suggestions not orders. You are perfectly capable of telling your children what to do. If they are doing something wrong, tell them and redirect them. Then thank them for their assistance but then again let them know you are in charge and they are guests in YOUR HOUSE and that they have raised their children, and when your children are with them at their house they are in charge but at your house you are doing the raising.
    Blessedmommy215

    Answer by Blessedmommy215 at 10:45 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • I agree that your husband should be the one to address his family. With you letting it go for however long you have, they may not realize that it bothers you. But I really do not recommend the children hearing that conversation or you'll be hearing the "YOU can't tell me what to do!" thing being said to any and everyone but you.
    I've let people know that I don't appreciate anyone correcting my children while I'm present unless there's danger/safety issue involved that is time sensitive. That can come up in all sorts of conversations so that they don't feel like you're bashing them.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:59 PM on Oct. 15, 2008