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How do I deal with my Mother?

I love my mom, and she is my babysitter while I work, but she spoils my boys by giving them 24/7 attention and giving them whatever they want when they scream and throw fits. she feeds both my 1 and 2 year old with a spoon and rarely lets either of them feed themselves, except cherios ect. and I know she just thinks shes being a good grandma, but we do things way different at home and she wont bend to help teach them basic skills we are teaching at home. and we are starting to have discipline problems because of it.

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sarahlu

Asked by sarahlu at 4:11 PM on Sep. 11, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,504 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Tell her that she is HURTING THEM by NOT allowing them to learn the skills that they need. Learning how to use a spoon, improving their fine motor skills by picking up diced foods, learning the appropriate coping skills when they don't get their way are what they are supposed to be learning. Tell her you NEED her to help you help them grow up to be kids that will have the skills to succeed. She is actually harming them by giving into their every whim. If all else fails, tell her that if she can't help you with this, you will have to find a new babysitter so they don't turn into brats. That's a tough one.
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 4:17 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • i had the same problem, my bil thought my oldest didn't need to learn to talk. she would just grunt until i layied into them about it. she wanted somehting to drink and i wouldn't let them give it too until she spoke. she was 18 months at the time. you just have to explain it to your mom that she's not helping the kids. they have lists that the kids should be doing by what age. its in almost every parent or baby magazine.
    noel1978

    Answer by noel1978 at 4:18 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • My Mother would do the same thing and has. But now we live 287 miles away from her. Put your children in a headstart program or preschool as soon as they are old enough. That is the only advice I could think of, they teach skills as well to ready them for school ahead.
    tryin2BGOOD

    Answer by tryin2BGOOD at 4:20 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Write the rules down and tell her to go by them or you will have to find someone else to watch the kids. Tell her she is doing more harm than good. My mother has been doing this with my eldest since she was born. She knows are rules but ignores them. we even brought it up in family therapy. She still ignores them. If it continues we will cut off access. I have a 2nd child and I do not want the same thing to happen with her. She was the same with me and it cause major problems with nme in myself and my life.
    She should respect the choices and rules you have made for your kids. They are your children, she is just Grandma.
    buddahbum

    Answer by buddahbum at 5:11 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Yeah you have to let her know that she need to distill the same rules you guys do at home, or you'll find another babysitter. Grandmothers for some reason were strict on us, but when we have the grand-kids they get all soft on them. I'll never figure that one out. My mom and dad were mean, strict parents when i was a child, but now they try to tell me not to be so strict on my kids. Maybe it's a guilt thing, or they do it on purpose because they know it will drive us crazy, I don't know.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 6:39 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Same house and two sets of rules. I know this is difficult. Maybe she could watch them at her house? That way, she can use her rules in her house and you can use your rules in yours. That way they will know what to expect in different environments.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:26 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

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