Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

8 Bumps

How do you see women who have been raped? As Victims? Or Survivors?

Is there a difference in your mind between the two? Are some women victims while others are survivors? And how do you make that distinction?

 
SabrinaMBowen

Asked by SabrinaMBowen at 4:14 PM on Sep. 11, 2010 in Politics & Current Events

Level 40 (122,988 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • Yes there is. I am not a victim I am a survivor. The reason is because a rape victim lets it keep them as such. They can't move past the moment and it affects every thing they do the rest of their life. Unfortunately many in the category take their own life eventually, or never even half way recover. Then there are the ones who move to be a survivor. Who does not allot it to control their lives. Yes it still affects them, but they regain control and live a relevantly normal life. I have been on both ends of this. Though yes for the most part in the beginning they are all victims.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 5:33 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • We are both. We are a victim so long as we allow that horrible event to hold us down. When we allow ourselves to relive such terrible experiences and allow those memories to tear us up from the inside out, we become victims not just to the rape, but also to the memory of the rape. This is being a victim over and over and over again.

    However, when healing has taken place, and a woman is able to take charge of her life, her memories, and her thoughts once more, THEN she becomes a survivor. When she is able to rise above it and be reborn from the ashes of despair, she has become a new woman who will reach out to others and help them to rise as well.
    PhoenixFire

    Answer by PhoenixFire at 4:20 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I have to agree with Phoenix Fire. In the beginning they are seen as victims because of the rape and having to remember the rape over & over again but once they have pulled through & moved on with there lives they are survivors because that is not something that is easy to move past. Its always in the back of your mind no matter how long ago it happened but in the end when we move past it we are all survivors.
    mama2005

    Answer by mama2005 at 4:27 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I see them as both.... they were a victim of a terrible, terrifying experience that they will never forget, but they are strong enough to go on with their life
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 4:17 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Well - I guess, in a technical sense, they are ALL victims of a crime. I suppose what you do with your life after the fact determines whether or not you become a survivor or remain a victim.

    I'm really almost afraid to answer this. I feel like someone will be offended regardless of my answer, and bashing rape victims is not even something I would consider doing.
    DusterMommy

    Answer by DusterMommy at 4:19 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Both, I think you have to be a victim in order to be a suvivor
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 4:20 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • i'm a survivor but every once in a while i still feel scared those triggers that bring you back to feeling like a victim. so i'd say both
    natasha86

    Answer by natasha86 at 4:27 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I was a victim, but now I'm becoming a survivor. Yes, I do think there is a difference between the two. To me, a survivor is a woman who decides that something bad happened to her, but she won't let it control her life and she does everything she can to move on and become a stronger person because of it. A victim, again IMO, is a woman who does nothing but let it consume her life.

    I think that most of us who are raped are a little bit of both. We may begin as a victim then eventually change and become a survivor, or vice versa. I still have moments where I feel overwhelmed by it and fall back into being the victim.
    Mrs.BAT

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 9:25 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I don't agree with your definition of the word victim. While I understand the distinction you are trying to make, I don't think that "victim" is the appropriate word to associate with what you describe. You are describing a person who struggling to cope with an event that occurred in her life. I disagree that there is inherent "weakness" in the term victim. Certianly during the act a person is over come and unable to fight back which involves some sort of weakness at the moment - usually physical but not always. But to use the term "vicitm" as such a negative expression, I feel, is a distortion of language and in a sense of reality as well.

    The word victim is defined as "a person who suffers from a destructive or injurious action or agency." To insinuate that a person's suffering makes her weak or lower is more than just harsh... it's cruel.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 4:38 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I see them as both, but usually only think of them as victims. Now if the person raping them had the intent to kill them and the woman struggled free or got away some how, then yes I would definitely think of her as a survivor. But I don't know if all rapists plan to kill their victims....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 PM on Sep. 11, 2010