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my partner and I are so distant (not in miles)

He took the kids to his mother's for the day
I feel like calling him, but when my number comes up, I know he will not answer it.
I am feeling very alone

I want things to work out, I have suggested therapy.
Most days it is like I am not even in the room.
My head says, rip the bandaid off and be done with it
My heart longs for the way he used to treat me, look at me, touch me

Do I listen to my head or my heart?

background info.. He takes calls away from me, he spends tons of time on computer watching strangers have sex while I am alone in bed. He is angry when he is not distant



Asked by Anonymous at 5:30 PM on Sep. 11, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Seek professional help! People on CM can give you tons of advice from leaving him to doing things you used to enjoy as a couple... but the fact is you need a marriage counselor! someone with inside details, that can give a specific plan of action and tools to fix your marriage. Please check benifits work offers (most people don't realize work provides help) and insurance to get the proper kind of help and advice

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 5:55 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I've been married 11 years and I've gone through some stuff. When I felt like he was hanging out with his friends too much, I did the same to see how he liked it. When he complained about it, that's when I pointed out what he was doing and not before that. When he went through his porn phase, I did the same thing to see how he liked it. Whenever he would do stuff like that I think it was because he was expressing his wants but I knew he loved me. There are many feelings that I experienced throughout our relationship. At one point I even wondered if love was enough to stay married. Now I believe that love is definitely the foundation which makes the effort to make things work worth it. A relationship evolves and things can't ever be exactly the way they were in the beginning but be reassured that it isn't totally gone either as moments will happen that reignite the same euphoric feelings.

    Answer by ChicaThis at 6:00 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I am sorry to hear that. I read the book "Love and Respect" recently and it was really insightful. I checked it out from the library. Men have different needs than women. The book really outlines what men need. As a man gets his needs met he is more than happy to met yours. Porn issues can be difficult. But I have to ask, how is your sex life? Men need sexual attention. Just like women need to feel loved. For some reason he's turned to porn. It can be rather addictive to a man (or woman for that matter). You should really try to figure out what he is getting from it and try to find a way to met that need. I have found in my marriage that the more I give the more I get in return. I try to be the wife he needs me to be and he appreciates that and gives me back more.

    Answer by bjane01 at 11:25 PM on Sep. 11, 2010


    GOOD LUCK!!!!!

    Answer by reina77 at 1:44 AM on Sep. 12, 2010