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My husband and I have been trying to conceive for approx 3 years without any luck. We have been looking into adopting and this is something we would very much so be interested in but it is sooo expensive. We can not afford an arm and a leg and still be able to provide for our new baby the way that we would like. We already have a 5 1/2 year old daughter and we know how expensive kids can be!! Any suggestions???

Let me add that we are not wanting to adopt children with 'special needs' from foster homes.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:39 PM on Oct. 15, 2008 in Adoption

Answers (16)
  • there is the possiblity of adopting a healthy baby from foster could take longer to find exactly what you think is best for your family but it is virtually free....good luck...and also, you can do private adoption without an agency for around $4000-$6000

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:23 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • As an adoptive mother of a child from the foster care program, I can guarantee you that they are NOT all special needs. We adopted a beautiful little healthy girl when she was 15 months old. She had been with us since she was 2 days old. If you are truly sincere about wanting to adopt without much cost, you really may want to check further into foster care and maybe this time without the prejudice that they all have special needs.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • I agree! We adopted our first daughter through a private adoption and it was outragously expensive (but she's worth EVERY penny!). We adopted our second daughter through foster care and she is a healthy little girl. We got her at 6 days old, and we have had some therapy for her (mostly because she's a stubborn little thing LOL!) but she's 2 years old now, and has never been a special needs baby. They are out there, you just have to be patient and not think that every child in foster care will be special needs. Every child has special needs...the ones in foster care just need more LOVE!

    Answer by LizClara at 11:54 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • Here's an easy answer since you don't want a foster child....
    Don't adopt. Period.

    Answer by randi1978 at 2:48 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • I think if you would prefer not to adopt a child from a foster home that is your business since you will be the one raising it. Adopting children from foster homes are not for everyone and more power to you for knowing what you want! However private adoption is expensive and I don't have any helpful ways for you to get around that. Good luck to you and yours no matter which route you decide to take.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:51 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • As an adoptee myself, please consider that the child you adopt will have already suffered a tremendous loss, their birth mother. It is often not spoken of, but there is a primal wound that takes place in all adoptees. Just as studies prove that an infant is able to identify the scent of their mother, they also know something is amiss when their birth mother is no longer there. I am for adoption, but it is important for me to get the message out that adoptees need a tremendous amount of love to help them feel secure as they grow up. The primary issues for adoptees to overcome tend to be low self-esteem, insecurity, and fear of abandonment and rejection. Having said all that, I wouldn't trade my adoptive parents for anything! However, my birth mother also plays an important role in my life. And I am honored to be meeting her in just a few days now. The missing piece of me is found!

    Answer by normajeanmobean at 6:42 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • Its expensive to adopt through an agency. You can try to find a woman who is giving up her baby and NOT go through an agency, and then all you may have to pay is the legal fees, depending on her medical coverage. Catholic Charities is a good place to start.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:43 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • they have people donate toward certain kiddos :) That's the only way we could afford to adopt.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • Lutheran Social Services.

    Answer by heavenschild99 at 9:46 PM on Oct. 20, 2008

  • I agree with the foster care option, I have worked in childcare for years and I have seen the best and worst of foster care, My DH and myself are currently starting the process to adopt twins that are due in feb and will be entering the foster care scene.Everychild deserves a loving home and healthy living enviroment. I beleive everything happens for a reason. Maybe there is that child out there destined to be yours and thats why you are having problems TTC. Foster care is a wonderfull option, please look into it.

    Answer by Scarlet83 at 1:14 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

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