Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps


is it child abuse my husband thinks it is


Asked by navywifemomkoch at 5:45 PM on Sep. 11, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 15 (1,891 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I use spanking in very rare instances. I've found that timeouts, privilege removal, or even a mandatory "quiet time" (when they have to do everything just like naptime, even if they don't sleep) work better. I don't consider it child abuse, unless the parent is using it to vent their anger. My parents used spanking with me, only when I did something REALLY bad and was being disrespectful in addition to that. I felt those were appropriate circumstances, and I was always given fair warning and a chance to shape up first.

    Answer by aliceryannesmom at 6:31 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • No. If it is then all of out ancestors must have been child abusers. It 'can' be if it is done incorrectly (aka... there is no sign of love or teaching or warning, etc...) meaning they just go around hitting the child... but if it is done purposefully and with warning and there is a great amount of love and understanding btwn child and parent then I think there's no problem in it at all... I choose not to do this, but I have a total amount of respect for those who choose to.

    Answer by momofonelilguy at 5:49 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I've heard that it can be. I never used it as a form of punishment though because I didn't want my kids doing it to their kids.

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 5:50 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I myself never spanked my kids, but I myself was beat w/a strap. If you take a swat at their butt now & then, I wouldn't consider it child abuse. Going over board and beatting the crap out of them, then yes that to me is child abuse.

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 5:52 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • It's not defined as child abuse in the US. It is defined as child abuse in some other countries and is illegal. Teachers and other school authorities can spank in most states. Other people spanking your child or you spanking someone else's child (even with their permission) may be assult or violate other laws.

    It isn't effective parenting. It doesn't stop bad behavior and it doesn't teach good behavior. Psychologists know it doesn't work. The most effective form of parenting is called authoritative.


    Answer by Gailll at 5:53 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Honestly i would say it depends on how you are spanking them. if my daughter is very bad i will spank her hand. she is 3. but thats if i have exhausted all other options and i dont do it hard. for her it is more of hte idea of it that makes her realize what she is doing more than anything.

    Answer by OliviasMommy614 at 5:58 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Well, it depends on why, how, when and how much. Some people spank and while I don't and won't do it (unless extreme circumstances, which I can't think of....just not saying NEVER) is effective for some. As a spanked child though, I felt that I feared my parents rather than respected them and this I want to avoid. If you can find other ways of discipline that your child responds to....spanking/hitting is not necessary.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 5:59 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Not all cultures spank. Remember if we are talking about anglo ancestors they were often religious fanatics, misfits, criminals, or other people trying to escape Europe. We know that about Australia but most Americans don't think of the US as being that way. They weren't the best of people and there were child abusers. There has always been problems with child abuse in the US. There are interesting studies about how cultures treat their babies and young and what kind of people they are in general - peaceful or warlike, selfless or self-centered, ect. 


    Answer by Gailll at 6:01 PM on Sep. 11, 2010