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3 Bumps

has anyone been in a relationship only to find out years later that HE is not 100% heterosexual adult content

could sure use some words of wisdom


Asked by Anonymous at 5:55 PM on Sep. 11, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Don't know what to tell you, we wound up divorced.

    Answer by TessaHoney at 9:53 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Yeah, that happened to me when I was young... I was embarrassed.. but he became a great friend.

    Answer by momofonelilguy at 5:56 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Nope. I haven't had that happen to me before.

    Answer by elly25 at 6:01 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Uhmm...NO. My guys have all been men that love women.

    Answer by jewjewbee at 6:13 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I don't think anyone is 100% hetero... or gay, for that matter.

    While people are putting themselves into little boxes, they like to think of themselves as 100% something (or not something else). Since those things are simplistic, and people are not, they're superficial and unrealistic...

    It is normal for people to be attracted to people. Our cultural need to label that 'good' or 'bad' means that when it's some people --wrong gender, wrong body type, wrong income, wrong color-- it's deviant and creates discomfort and denial in lots of people. Denial doesn't make the attraction go away, but the less acceptance there is, the more distressing it is, the more guilt it provokes, and the more deviant behavior it spawns.

    Knowing that it is normal to find bodies, in a huge variety, attractive, novel, alluring and even exciting allows the range of that lovely 'hmmm...' enjoyment of fantasy sexuality. Attraction doesn't equal action.

    Answer by LindaClement at 6:28 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • My best friend was gay but I knew.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:01 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • i completely agree with linda...i dont think there are many 100% hetero people. most people who know me would say im hetero, but i do enjoy a woman from time to time its just not something i advertise. your husband having an interest in men is perfectly normal though few "hetero" men will ever admit it. what matters more than labeling him is how it effects your relationship. does he feel like he needs a man in his life or is he okay with being with just a woman. how do you feel about him sometimes being with a man if thats what he feels he needs? my SO is ok with me occassionally being with women as long as it doesnt take away from my relationshp with him. it works for us. you need to sit down with him and discuss what he feels he needs and what you can tolerate. you will either come to an agreement or decide that the relationship is not going to work. either way you'll walk away knowing where you stand.

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 7:10 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I actually have 3 ex's that came out as Gay after we split. Most of them were young at the time and simply had yet to "come out" or were dating girls in an effort to cover their homosexuality. Beyond that I have always known outright that they were Bisexual... But so am I so I don't see it as an issue... In fact it's more of a benefit in my eyes.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 7:34 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

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