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2 Bumps

DH doesn't feel appreciated? I think it's just an excuse

I have to talk with cafemom. Here goes, I have been married to my DH for about 9 months but we've been together for about 4 years. Ever since highschool, I've had job opportunities but instead went to losing football games. Since we been togetehr, sometimes, he will call me at 2 in the mourning to be with him. I always came through to see him. I went to his navy graduation which was in chicago mined you myself and his family was in a car! Everytime he would want to be with me I always take that time to be with him! What is he talking about? He also cheated on me but I took him back(which I shouldn't) because he said he wanted to start over. He tells me he appreciates the little things but how can I do that if we're not living together yet.(which we will soon) I just don't know. When I talk to him, he gets loud and angry and then I get loud and angry. Then it becomes a mess. I love this man to death but he drives me crazy.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:15 PM on Sep. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Wow I think once a cheater always a cheater. But you should just go with what your heart says.

    Answer by elisabellaguna at 8:19 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • IDK, maybe the things you are doing aren't what he really needs. I don't think he knows how to communicate his needs, but I don't think you know how to communicate yours, either. Just because you have been together for 4 years doesn't mean you know each other very well.
    But, it's possible that it is just an excuse. I don't know you or him. So it's hard to say.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:20 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Sounds like a bad situation....get out while you can...seriously!

    Answer by CABlonde at 8:24 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • In all honesty, it sounds like he has a lot of self-esteem issues and tries to put them on you and/or make them your fault. That's not healthy for either of you. :(

    Answer by aliceryannesmom at 8:37 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • aliceryannesmom - Has a point. I think that either the self-esteem issues stem from him cheating or other reasons. It's not right for him to do that. In a way it's a defense mechanism to get you to run first before he goes back to someone else. When people feel guilty they sometimes put it on other people and that is out of a low self esteem. They want to make themselves feel better, so they make it the other person's fault in what they are/aren't doing. He might feel guilty about cheating or he might be wanting to cheat again and that's why he's lashing out at you.

    Honestly, once a cheater always a cheater. Even if he never has sex with anyone else but you, they're always emotionally cheating with someone else. And it's not a healthy relationship to be in with someone like that.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:07 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Sounds to me like you both need to mature some.

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 10:45 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • seems you know how he is and he's not living with you. What do you think it's going to be like once you move in together? I don't think it will get much better. He'll probably get on your nerves. I would give this some serious thought before living together.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:44 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

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