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2 Bumps

What do you think of this conversation!?

Me. DH. DD live with mom. We have since highschool. My mom is a widow & wants us to live with her.
There is a house for sale in our neighborhood. We where going shopping & through a conversation My mom said "someone should buy it & rent it out so it will pay for itself".. "Theres an idea for you mom, you should buy it". DH: " Yeah, buy it & we can rent from you, haha." Mom: "Well Id just move."
Then suddenly jumped to "Well you know you never rent to family/friends, anytime they get tight on money they think you should understand & they dont pay you"..
The conversation just kinda dropped after that.. But what would think of this conversation?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:55 PM on Sep. 11, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • It is great that you are paying things off and are able to move or hel pout if needed. Maybe she attempts to drain your account as her way of ensuring herself that she won't lose you.
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 9:23 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I would think that Mom is HINTING that you need to pitch in more - financially - like paying utilites, or food or even RENT.

    I know you "say" Mom wants you to live there, but from this conversation, I would say that is not 100% true. She may have wanted to help you get on your feet, but I think you either need to start pitching in with the finances, or move out
    Maureen-MD

    Answer by Maureen-MD at 9:01 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I think Mom was letting you know..any free ride you're getting..may be over soon. I understand parents who allow kids and families to move in, in a pinch. Have you been there longer than a year? If so, Mom may be feeling seriously taken advantage of if you aren't paying your fair share.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:09 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Your mom had an issue with what your hubby had to say like he just hates living with your mom is how your mother may have taken it. Which is not at all how he wanted her to take it. It was just a thought. Sounds like your mom and hubby have a little bit of tention between one another. Does your hubby have issues with your mother? What was your thoughts on this conversation?
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 9:01 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • You should buy it and have your own private home. Being across the street from you mom should be nice and you can still help her as she's helped you. As for the conversation, I think she might be ready for you to get your own home.

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 9:10 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • She could be hinting to wanting help paying her bills, but she could also jst be making a well known point. I don't rent to family and freinds and I feel that way and have made that very same statement (in my own words obviously) at times. :)

    Maybe you should casually bring up the subject of bills and then ask if there is anything more you and your DH can do to help her? :) Maybe while she is paying bills one day or when you check the mail and see a bill use it to say, "You know, I have been wanting to ask if there is anything more we can do to hel financially around here." :)

    Good luck!
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 9:13 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • -- My mom has told me sarcastically when we got pregnant "Ill board the doors before you move out" (When we got pregnant i thought she might be pissy about it - i was 24, just to be clear.
    -- She is AFRAID to live alone. Shes says very slyly! Even if we leave for a weekend & shes at home, she subtly says its lonely, she doesnt sleep well, she wont sleep in her bed, but on the couch.. and so on.
    --Me. Mom. DH have no issues at all with one another. We where all happily going shopping together & out to eat.
    -- My thoughts: I didnt want to press why she said "well ill just move" ... That made no since to me.. Did she mean she would move in with us?! LOL ...
    -- Me & DH want a place of our own. But I worry. How much would that stress her. Would she ever feel OK alone? Would she feel abandoned?
    (cont.)
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:14 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • -- We do try to help out. But she doesnt want it! Or she turns around & spends it back on us!

    Its kinda like if we are not spending $ to live here she thinks we would stay... BUT! ---- Anytime Dh gets a raise at work, she talks about charging us money.. But as long as it seems to her we are spending his checks.. she shuts up about it & doesnt say anything .. I think if she ever heard of us having money in the bank she would charge ... Just to drain us! ...
    (FYI: DH just got a nice job, we are paying his car off.. and then our bank WILL start to grow! We plan on saving up money then to get out... YES -- if mom said tomorrow she wants us to have our own place, we COULD afford it! If she ask for rent money tomorrow-we could give it to her! Instead we are pouring all our money (Jan will be paid off!) in my dh car.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:20 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • i think it's true. people tend to accidentaly take advantage of the relationship when they rent from family or friends. it's the same reason i dont like to lend money to anyone, and if i do i dont expect it back.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 9:50 PM on Sep. 11, 2010