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What are your thoughts on joint custody agreements?

Do you think its more important for the child to have equal time with both parents even if it means not having a "permanent" home...i.e. 3 days at Dad's, 4 days at Mom's. Or do you think its more important for a child to have stability in their life?

A friend of mine just agreed to joint custody of their 5 year old daughter. She will be with her mom 4 days a week and at her dad's the other 3. Both parent's are COMPLETE opposites, very different rules, etc. I just couldn't help but wonder if that was what is really best for the child.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:56 PM on Sep. 11, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I honestly think it is most important for a child to not have to be shuffled back and forth. children need security and stability. i think one parent should have physical custody period

    Answer by BlacksheepSati at 10:25 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I see no real difference in it than if they lived together. Their personalities have always been opposite and it's what the child is used to. She will adjust to the exposure to both in these new "doses".

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:01 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • i dont like that kind of joint maybe weekends with one or the other not 3 here 4 there its to difficult espically when they are in school

    Answer by navywifemomkoch at 10:00 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Its hard on the kids no matter what. Parents that cant get along arent easy to live with. And going back and forth to 2 totally different households is very difficult & requires a lot of adjusting. As long as everyone is respectful of one another, and hopefully some counseling is involved, everyone should eventually adjust to the new arangements.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:00 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I don't know... its hard to say. If she was really close to her dad and he was just as much of a care giver as the mom, then I can see where it may be most healthy for her. But for me personally... I would NEVER agree to joint LEGAL custody. A client of mine is in a huge mess with her sick child. Dad doesn't agree with mom/doctors medical treatment plan and also is against their school plan as well. So now a judge is weighing in on the these decisions. While these are not ordinary cirucmstances, it has made a huge impression on me. If I ever found myself getting divorced, I would made sure I had had full legal custody, but would be open to joint physical custody. And I really don't think my husband would fight me on it since I make almost 100% of our childrens medical decisions now, but you never know what influence a step mom may have on the bio dad down the road.

    Answer by karamille at 10:05 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • my ex husdand just started seeing his daughter and we have to go to court is it go for me to let her to see her father for the weekends?

    Answer by courtneymarie09 at 10:15 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Maybe Mom should have them during school and Dad have them on breaks....

    Answer by SWEETPEAS3MOM at 10:25 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I think the Most Important thing in a childs life is to have Stability- They need to have that One Safe Place to go to, without it i think they have a very confusing childhood-

    Answer by daisyb at 10:25 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Ideally the parents should live on the same street if at all possible, so the kids can go between houses as often as they want. However, since situations and circumstances differ greatly it doesn't always work out like that. With that said, I think the child should have as much time with both parents as possible. Only exception is if one parent is less repsonsible, etc. Which would mean one central home with one parent for the school year and then one central home with another parent for the summers. To me that would be the right situation. I don't agree with splitting the kid's week up like that.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:30 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • As I said though, situations and circumstances differ greatly. So it would depend a lot on that. I do think that whatever the situation is the child should have one stable location.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:31 PM on Sep. 11, 2010