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6 Bumps

I desperately need advice from a middle eastern mother

I am asking this with the utmost respect.

There is a young lady on my daughter's sports team (16 yr olds) who is middle eastern. Her body oder is so bad that it is really causing a rift between her and the other girls. It is causing them to oust her a bit because it is actually difficult to stand next to her and have a discussion. Parents too. EVERY one has been very polite and not said anything... but something NEEDS to be said.


I know there are cultural differences when it comes to deoderant........ is there anything we can say that will help with out offending her? Do you think it would be better to come from the girls or from one mother to her mother?

Please note I am asking with out going anonymouse... this is a real issue and you may feel free to pm me.

Answer Question
 
sahlady

Asked by sahlady at 10:04 PM on Sep. 11, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 20 (8,655 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Maybe this needs to brought to the attention to the school, because she is not only "stinking" to her sports team and maybe they can address the situation, going through her parent's or taking the student to tell her nicely of course. I work out a gym that has this same issue, so the owner did talk with her, and it's a little better then it was. But, a lot of the time it also the food they cook that sticks in their hair and clothes. Wish I could be of better help to you!! good luck to you!!!
    calebsmommie609

    Answer by calebsmommie609 at 10:10 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • this is club not school.

    sahlady

    Comment by sahlady (original poster) at 10:12 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • I had a similar issue with a client at the salon I used to work at. I did the whole famiy's hair. The dad was a doctor and never had offensive body odor. The wife on the other hand... it was soo bad. :( I always used the heavy vinyl capes on her rather than the soft hair cutting capes because they would hold in the odor. When the kids hit puberty, I just had to start saying I was busy and not taking their appointments because it was just too much. I don't know what the right answer is, but in situation as someone they hired for a service it was not my place to say anything, but it was my right to deny service. If you do chose to address this, i would do it face to face and with the parent so you can show your true concern since with written words you cannot covey tone. If you address the child, you may not only severely embarrass her but also get her in trouble if she starts to wear deoderant without parents ok.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • What I really need to know is if it is a religious issue to not use deodorant...... in which case I would never say a thing. However, if it was something i could address I really need to.

    sahlady

    Comment by sahlady (original poster) at 10:26 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Well (i'm the above anon) the dad DEFINITELY wore deoderant. Same kind as my dad so I know the scent. :) the wife and kids did not. So dad obviously got the emportance of assemilating. Mom didn't work outside the home. So I have other middle eastern clientele that definitely wear deoderant. So I don't think its religious, as it is cultural. I don't think wife had been in the states very long....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • well the do have "no scent" deoderant nowadays
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 6:14 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Maybe the coach can do a team talk(full well, meaning just her, but talking to the team as a whole so it dosnt' seem she is being singled out) saying the importance of taking care of yourselves, nutrition, bathing, deodorant, showering,etc.
    minimo77

    Answer by minimo77 at 11:12 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • hmm that is a tricky situation. I wish I had some advice, but honestly I can't think of a way to tell someone they stink without them being offended.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 11:40 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I'm bumping this for you because I don't have a clue.
    Ashlynnsmommy07

    Answer by Ashlynnsmommy07 at 3:47 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Id talk to the school about it!
    sstepph

    Answer by sstepph at 5:03 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

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