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I dont want this to continue...and I cant stop thinking about it...

For as long as I can remember, I would always worry about school ( simple things that most kids wouldnt worry about - like forgetting my bookbag or homework, not finding any clothes to wear, being late, or getting in trouble, etc) .. these thoughts would keep me awake all night and I would get that lump in my throat feeling about it... I know I have anxiety problems but I thought they were pretty much behind me... BUT now that my 4 year old daughter is almost to that school age ( I ahev atleast 1 year until she goes) ... those bad dreams and thoughts have started again...I lay awake in bed and think about all the bad things that could happen to her when she is at school ( and not with me) like getting kidnapped, or getting bullied ( or beat up by a bigger kid), and even if I was unable to pick her up ontime what would happen... and I am even having dreams that we cant find her bookbag or that all of her clean clothes are gone

Answer Question

Asked by AmericanaQueen at 11:49 PM on Sep. 11, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 10 (396 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • just silly things like that, but they are enough to put that lump in my throat feeling....I cant sleep at night since these thoughts happened, and i am not sure how I will handle things when the time gets even closer...

    Has anyone delt with feelings like these or have any advice on what to do..

    As of right now I do not have the best insurance and am not able to "talk to someone" for atleast another few months....

    Comment by AmericanaQueen (original poster) at 11:50 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • are you on meds? i think you should talk to your dr about are going to make yourself sick...if you haven't already. I'm so sorry that you suffer like this and I really think meds would calm these thoughts down so that you can relax a bit

    Answer by MommyH2 at 11:51 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • It defintely sounds like a medical anxiety issue and if you can't get help for insurance reason I don't really know what else to tell you! Sorry. Have an techniques like breathing exercises helped you in the past?

    Answer by jessicarae787 at 11:53 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • well a long time ago ( when in high school) I did take meds for it and it did help a little bit.... but I am not able to go to a DR. or anything until atleast the end of November... thats why I was wondering if there were any other " ways of coping" ... and it has worried me sick, pretty much every day I have an upset stomach over it..

    Comment by AmericanaQueen (original poster) at 11:53 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Have to talked to a therapist about these anxieties? While its normal to worry a little about those things, it seems to me that they are started to interfere in your life...and that is when its a bigger issue. The bullying and getting kidnapped are understandable worries because they are dangerous situations that every mother fears, but the not having clean clothes or forgetting her book bag thing...well those are easy fixes and nothing to lose sleep over! So if she forgets her book bag, you bring it to her. If she doesn't have clean clothes 1 day because you didn't have time to get the laundry done, not a big deal. She can wear an outfit 1 more day and no one would notice I'm sure. Don't sweat the small stuff hun! But honestly I would see if you can talk to someone about why you have always been so stressed about these things. You don't want to project any of that stress onto your DD!

    Answer by Ash9724 at 11:53 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Something must have happened when you were a kid to make you feel this way. If she forgets her backpack, you willtake it to her. If someone picks on her, she will tell you and you will tell the school admin. You may want to consider therapy.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 11:55 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • thanks ash - I am very worried about putting it onto my daughter... she has heard me talking about it ( didnt know she was being a bunny big ears) .. and then she started asking questions, and saying that she never wants to go to school ( before she was excited about the idea)

    Comment by AmericanaQueen (original poster) at 11:56 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Mom you really do need to see someone about this. I fyou can't afford it right now try and find other avenues. You don't ant your daughter leaning to do this too and ending up with the same problems. Nor do you want her to go the opposite direction and find she has to reassure you all the time. Not fair to her at all. I went through this with my mom. Get help.

    Answer by GoldenLinds at 11:56 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

  • Maybe you can talk with the guidance councilor at the school she will go to? At least when she starts school, you should be able too. And when she starts school, volunteer there, in her class, for the PTA, just for the school. That way, they will get to know you, and you them. It will put you more at ease. Maybe having a set schedule will help you? I think set schedules help with anxiety. Also, this lady was telling my hubby about L-thianine. I think that's it. It's an amino acid, you can find it in the drug store. I did find Melatonin with it in it as well. It's supposed to help with anxiety and such. Like St. Johns Wort is supposed to help with depression.
    I think it's also important to realize that some of your fears are not silly, but that you can take precautions, and things will be fine, KWIM? And know that you can pick your battles, like with the backpack and clothes. Try to not be so hard on yourself.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 12:18 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I saw an episode of "Obsessed" on A&E about a woman who had obsessive thoughts about her daughter's safety. It was a form of OCD. Maybe do some research on OCD, it's usually not people being overly clean like most people think.

    When I read your post, I thought of her. Therapy helped her (I know you said you can't afford it right now). What they did was make her do things that were her "triggers". Drop her off at school instead of taking her into her classroom, letting the girl go to the park with dad, etc.

    Good luck, momma. Get counseling as soon as you can. Try calling 211 or whatever your state has. I used to do therapy for $20 a session because it was done income based.

    Answer by dmdblleb at 12:30 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

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