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Am I being stupid or do you guys see my side about my mil?

Ever since my 1st daughter was born every weekend my parents have kept her one day out of the weekend or sometimes fri and sat and now that my 2nd daughter is here same thing goes. I also before my 2nd was born had told my mom both or none. Well my mil wants to keep my youngest overnight because that is her granddaughter but I just dont feel comfortable yet letting her stay anywhere else but with me or my parents. I explained that I allow my mom because she is my mother and I know she will take care like if she was me but I can't say that about my mil. am i wrong?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:47 AM on Oct. 16, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • no, i already told my SO that i wont let his mother watch our daughter when she is born until she is about 6!
    i know that sounds ridiculous, but she canNOT watch a kid to save her life... ive seen ehr watch kids before and shes mean and doesnt watch them she locks herself in the room and leaves 4 kids all under the age of 5 in the rest of the house. lol idk if ur MIL does that.. but i understand where you are coming from
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • Has your MIL given you any reason to not trust her with your child? I ask because it sounds like you kinda just bitch slapped her. JMO
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • anon is right. Unless she's done major damage to make you come to that conclusion I'd rethink that one. Ask hubby if she abused him or neglected him. Does she have other children who seem improperly cared for? I was an equal opportunity bitch slapper myself. i wouldn't let anyone watch mine until they were old enough to tell me if someone treated them badly or hurt them!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:52 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • Nope, I understand. My SO has told me horror stories about his mother's "parenting skills" and I'd rather get slapped with a stick than let that woman watch my son. Even if I knew she was a good mom I'd still be weary about another person watching my son, I don't trust people very easily.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • I totally get not wanting anyone watching my child, but to say that to your MIL is really a slap in the face, after all she is your DH/SO mother, and he turn out okay, right?? Even though I may feel that way regarding my MIL I NEVER would tell her that, just because she is my MIL. I would have made up a reason such as: If I knew my MIL would NEVER agree to taking both kids, I would have said that she needs to take both....something along those lines.....
    SAHMinIL

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 12:54 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • I don't know your MIL, so it is hard to give you a valid opinion. I would talk to my husband about this if I were you. See what he has to say about his mom watching his kid. Honestly though, if she isn't a bad person, I don't know why you wouldn't let her watch her own grandkid.
    cdgoldilocks

    Answer by cdgoldilocks at 12:58 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • Unless I had some reason (other than just my fears) to think my child wouldn't be safe, I would let my MIL keep my child. It's only natural that you would trust your own mom above anyone else, but your MIL has a right, too.
    mamapotter

    Answer by mamapotter at 12:58 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • Whew!!! I'm glad I love my MIL! She's wonderful with my sons. They're 17 and 15 and they still spend the weekend with her. She lives 15 minutes away. They're really close to her and love her very much!
    Unless she's done something bad I would rethink your situation. Kids can never have TOO much family!
    happy2bme7

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 1:02 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • First how does your MIL treat your daughter when she is with you? Then maybe try it for a few hours in the evening or something like that to build up to the idea of keeping her all night. Unless she has done something that would make you think she would harm your daughter, you need to let her have her time too. Its hurting her feelings and its really not fair to MIL to not have a good relationship with her grandchild. But like I said, only if shes not done something that would lead you to think she would harm your daughter. If she has, then hell no.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • Ok so here is a lil background my dh lived with his grandmother till he was like 16 she didn't raise him and she does not like to have toys all over and usually falls asleep by 9 while watching tv. She is used to watching my stepson but he is 9. She can not handle my 18month old and my oldest will cry her head off if I left her there. I set my rule of both or none and I told my husband that goes for anyone. I am also very protective of my girls and I only really trust my own parents with them. Maybe when she is older like 5 i might feel different.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

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