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5 Bumps

Why does marriage have to be so hard, difficult and stressful?

Are you happy?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 AM on Sep. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • nothing that is worth having is easy. i am happy, but it's like a car, you have to maintain it to keep it running well, and sometimes you still need major repairs.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 1:27 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I am happy but marriage is difficult. My dh and I are having issues right now because we never have alone time. We never go out and it's mostly because of stubbornness. I am waiting for him to finally step up and do something for me but he won't and I won't help him so we never do anything. Also he's always away cuz of the Navy so it is very hard. But overall I love him so thats why I want to make it work.

    Answer by Keyonsmom at 1:30 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • to be honest in my opinion a happy marriage is something earned because it takes both of you giving 100%, If you both do not give it your all it won't be the happily ever after you dreamed about.

    My husband and I have our days where we just want to punch eachother (we DON'T do that lol) or whatever, but we just need our cooling off time to calm ourselves down then we reconnect. Marriage is not easy, if it was so many people wouldn't give up and end it, you have to fight and grow together.

    Answer by JAJA_Steele at 1:31 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I am happy...we have our days, but what couples don't. We're still in the early stages on marriage (1 yr and 3 months) but we've lived together and basically been married for a little over 4 years, but we've had our share of arguments and "just leave me alone" days, but getting through that is worth it. If it wasn't and I wasn't happy, I wouldn't be in this marriage.

    Answer by dlandrum at 1:38 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I am happy, but you're right, marriage is hard. Sometimes the lowest point in the marriage will be the point that ends up saving it. I look back now and marvel just how bad things were for me and DH in "year 3" - we all but fell apart, and we really despised each other. Now we're going on year 7 and I can't imagine my life without him. It's hard to take out all the gunk that life brings into a marriage, and remember why you love each other in the first place. But that's really what you have to do, what it all boils down to in the end. If you can continue to do that, you'll get through anything.

    Answer by aliceryannesmom at 1:45 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I am exactly happy (I could keep the house cleaner if he wasn't in it), but I am not unhappy. We don't fight...we are just kind of blah. It has been an entire year since we have had a break from our kids for a date night so I am guessing that is some of it. Good luck to you!

    Answer by ashisamom at 2:07 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Ridiculously happy, yes.

    Marriage doesn't have to be hard difficult or stressful. We make it that way in two realms: we expect our partner to be us (same thoughts, same opinions, same way of solving problems) and we expect to get our own way.

    We want our own way because we want it, and everyone around us who pretend that they love us are supposed to give us our own way. Of course, since they feel exactly the same way we do, you can see how conflicts naturally arise.

    The usual excuse for this is: well, it's different because what I want is reasonable and what he wants is unreasonable, stupid, selfish which obviously is... silly from any angle but your own.

    Try this: give in. 100%. Because you're generous. Because you love. Because you can. Because you don't want to. Because it's not fair. Or just because.

    You only have this life to love in. Why not love completely for a change? Let someone else's whims win.


    Answer by LindaClement at 2:50 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Weird... tried answering this 4 times, and it finally posted, but cut off my last line:

    Choose love.

    Answer by LindaClement at 2:51 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Not at the moment, right now I'm waiting for murdering asshole to be legal it is cheaper then divorce.

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 4:30 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • It shouldn't be but sometimes we find ourselves here and for some of us we get so caught up with the problems that we forget why we got married...My husband and I, we were very much in love and happy...but after our first year everything fell apart. He said we changed and started drifting away, and that he doesn't know what he wants. We have been recently separated, its not what I want but if you love something you have to let it go and if it comes back it was meant to be...what I am trying to say is, before it gets bad..stop everything, go back and communicate with your husband/wife or partner or boyfriend/girlfriend and talk about it let it all out on the table and work through it even if you don't get the results you want. Love is hard to find these day and even harder to keep. So fight for it and find happiness with each other of luck to you and the otehr woman out there.

    Answer by heartsicksiren at 4:57 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

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