Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Do parents have real control over HS-aged kids?

or just think they do? Cuz ya can't attach yourself to them 24/7 and hide behind every tree spying on them all day to make sure.

 
Zoeyis

Asked by Zoeyis at 6:15 AM on Sep. 12, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 31 (46,808 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • thats true but if you raise them right you wont have to worry about "controlling" them! yea most teenagers rebel against parents do stuff behind their parents back etc...doesnt mean thats gonna last forever though,cuz even if theres no controlling your teen...one day they just might snap out of it on their own,again if you raised them right....im not gonna lie i rebelled against my parents...did ALOT of stuff they dont know about but you know what i snapped out of it! and fast! and im such a better person now! highschool diploma, 2 kids my own apartment pay my bills....worked my ass off....now i am living with fiance and still doing really good for myself and im only 24! so it wasnt too long ago this all happened.
    momOF2Girls0710

    Answer by momOF2Girls0710 at 12:35 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Communication is so important. That said, teens are under a tremondous amount of pressure from friends, teachers and parents and internally from hormones. Talk with them, never miss any of their activities, make sure they know how improtant they are to you. Never belittle them by calling them names. Invite their friends over so you know who they are running with. Set limits. Plan activities with only them and give them notice because they have a social schedule now too. So on this day we will do canning together for this many hours, for example. Don't give into whinning. You know what you did as a teen, so watch for the signs and TALK about it. Expalin the dangers and how you would be devestated if anything bad happened to the teen. Yes, the teen will still give you a hard time but, they have what they need, love and someone who cares. Good luck!
    momx3gx1b

    Answer by momx3gx1b at 8:47 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • They have control to an extent because people are motivated my incentives. Make the incentive important to the HS kid and they will be will be more responsible for their behavior. They could loss the privilege of a car, phone, going out, WII, XBOX ect......

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 6:28 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Yes they do. Like ryansmom001 says above, they are quite motivated by incentives and the thought of losing a privilege can be quite a motivator to stay in line.
    FootballMom85

    Answer by FootballMom85 at 7:12 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Wow, momx3qx1b, Couldn't have said it better.

    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 9:47 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • No one really has "control" over another person, no. I think a parent can raise their child to be respectful enough to abide by the family rules though, yes.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 11:36 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • yes and no. A lot depends on how you've done the 13+ years before... and no you cannot see/control EVERYTHING but if you stay alert, keep lines of communication with child and school etc. you can do alot.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 3:26 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • true, but it depends what/who/where your forbidding/allowing them to do/see/go, as well.

    I got away with a lot as a kid as I learned my parents wouldn't really know if I'd done as they asked or not. To this day my mom doesn't know I snuck back out after curfew after they went to bed. Or that I went to the mall with Sara Jones when I was told not to hang around with that girl anymore. If ya make rules that you can't really enforce, then they can and may broken rather quickly once the teen realizes that.

    Just depends on the rules we're talking about , I guess :)
    Zoeyis

    Comment by Zoeyis (original poster) at 7:17 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • momx3 said it perfectly!!!
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:43 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Control is the wrong word and sounds really bad. What I have instead is respect. I have respect that my children will stand by the rules, and expectations that we have put before them. My children respect that I will adjust these rules and expectations as needed as they mature and show responsibility.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 11:57 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN