Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Need some Advice adult content

I am in the middle of a nasty divorce, My husband was a cheater, he even went so low as to cheat with his 16 year old cousin ( by marriage but still soo wrong) he was also abusive and controlling. I had him arrested for assault this last Thursday night. He has not had a job in a while now and his mom has just gotten him a lawyer to try to get custody of my kids and file for divorce . Since I have him on assault charges He most likely wont get my children but my question is this . I have no family at all, both my parents passed when I was 18 . I don't have anyone I can depend on , he has many family members all over the place to run to whenever he wants. I don't want to be surrounded by these people and was thinking of just taking my kids and finding us a new home once the divorce is final. At the same time I would be taking my kids away from everything they have ever known. But that could be a good thing too

Answer Question

Asked by MystikSky at 11:11 AM on Sep. 12, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 6 (145 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I would get away from that entire area. That will give you and your children a fresh start and you could leave the bad memories behind. :)

    Answer by Memigen at 11:15 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I really don't have a lot of experience with situations like yours. However, I think it seems most rational to remove yourself and your kiddos from an area where the abusive ex will be lurking and where his family is all around. Your soon to be ex sounds like a dirt bag (cheating with a 16 yr old? He should be imprisoned for statutory rape!) and I think keeping your kids away from him sounds like a healthy plan.

    Answer by bootsky at 11:17 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Well you have more ammunition if you wanted. since he was with the 16 yr old that's statutory rape. But regardless, sounds like a bad situation. As long as you have full custody of the kids, you can leave the state.


    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 11:17 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Im sorry chick i know what your going through i just wanted to sit around and cry. I just talked to the lawyer and she said i had no worries and that helps when you have someone to tell you that you are doing great and that you don't have to worry about stuff cuz you have the upper hand.

    Answer by momil at 11:18 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Well, depending on how much custody he does get, you may not be able to move out of state, but you could move across the state, where no one knows you, your ex, or your children. Overall it could be much better. Sometimes you have to get court permission to move, if they think it's simply to inhibit the ex from achieving custody they may not be happy, or may not let you.

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 11:19 AM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • um... be VERY careful about trying to just up and move you can get in SERIOUS trouble AND ultimately LOSE CUSTODY of your kids...
    usually you need a court order and/or permission from ex to move...
    it would be VERY important to be able to PROVE that he had sex with a 16 yrs old, that he was abusive to you IN FRONT OF KIDS (some judges/states don't take spousal abuse into account that does not directly affect the kids), although he may not get total custody chances are that he will get some sort of visitation and if he has a lawyer I would STRONGLY advice you to get one too.
    Look at your states laws regarding you moving away... diff. states have a diff. amt of miles and/or conditions on moving without needing permission.
    TREAD CAREFULLY ... be strong.. and good luck

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 4:04 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.