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Am I completely crazy? Still having trouble being ok with knowing my daughter is having sex. Does that ever go away? adult content

My daughter is 18, just started college. Been with the same boyfriend for a year and a half. We are exceptionally close, so I'm the one she comes too with all her questions and concerns about stuff. Last year when they were seeing each other only a few months I started asking all the right questions. We have always been open and honest about the things you face in life and the consequences, so I didn't worry that she would do something stupid like have sex with her boyfriend on prom night when she was only 17. She kept saying she wasn't ready, but finally came to me one morning because she had has sex and was late starting and was freaking out. After a pregnancy test, which was thankfully negative we really starting talking and becoming closer than ever. That was over a year ago and I still go thru phases where I get depressed knowing by baby is having sex. I will even snoop to find out when. Am I crazy?

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:51 PM on Sep. 12, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (12)
  • for having trouble being ok with it, no

    but for snooping to find out when, yes

    Answer by keisha613 at 12:53 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Quit snooping on your daughter.
    You'll never be OK with your child having sex out of wedlock.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 1:16 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • You really need to let it go a little. She is 18, and if she finds you snooping, it may just ruin your relationship with her. She is considered an adult at this age, and as long as she is being responsible about it, shes not doing anything wrong!

    Answer by MommaRoxanne at 1:18 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I know how you feel but it isn't a good idea to snoop. I would not be happy if my daughters had sex at age 17 or 18....fortunately they waited until they were older and told me about it. They wanted me to know they were using birth contolk and didn't plan on having a baby until they had been married a few years. Thank goodness for their good judgement.
    Good is hard being a parent.

    Answer by gertie41 at 2:24 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • to know they were using birth contolk and didn't plan
    **********ooops....Birth CONTROL. LOL.
    They were good girls.

    Answer by gertie41 at 2:26 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • You don't necessarily have to be ok with it, but resign yourself to the fact that it has happened and it will happen, and stop obsessing over it.

    Answer by kodamom at 5:07 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Being the mother of 4 I always told my children they could come to me for any thing! This included the sex talk or the after sex talk. My youngest waited to have sex until she was 18 just like she promised. She was in love and still is. She is 22 and she still talks to me openly. I think it is great you have an open relationship with your daughter and I would suggest not snooping and let her come to you. She might find this too personal and never trust you again and you might lose that close relationship.
    She is 18 its time to let go and let her live her own life and if this includes having sex then you have to respect that. Good luck!

    Answer by dana63 at 8:20 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I have 4 adult sons (ages 18, 20, 22 and 24) and to me it seems a little odd for a mom to even care of her 18+yo adult child is sexually active. After 18 their choices are their own and are no longer our concern. My husband and I were raised that after 18 you are your own person and that's how we have raised our sons. I have never asked any of them if they are having sex, it's none of my business now that they are over 18. You might want to just trust your daughter and let her live her life, she is an adult now.

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 10:46 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • i have two daughters. we had the sex talk. i was and still not ok when i found out they had sex. i grew up in the 70s it was a time everybody was doing it. my daughter both became teenmoms. my oldest married her childs father. they had another baby. theyve been together 11 years. you cant snoop on her shell never forgive you. we dont like it when our kids grow up. shes not a little girl any more. just be there for her

    Answer by stressedoutgran at 7:51 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Thanks to everyone for the great answers. Sometimes you just need to hear it from other parents going thru it.

    Answer by Mitch-Mom at 10:04 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

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