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Best Punishments

I have a very hyper son and his reason for doing bad things or things he should not do is "he doesnt know" why he did it. But yet he still does it. Yelling does nothing, spanking does nothing, my punishments are not effective, are there any punishments you recommend? I took away his tv and he talked to himself for hours, that did not faze him and he loves tv.

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Asked by AngelEyva at 2:03 PM on Sep. 12, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 10 (398 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Taking away whatever is most important to him usually works. But make sure he is getting enough one on one time with you and praise plus positive reinforcement for the things he does right. Plus tons of hugs and kisses. Sometimes they go fo the negative attention if they are not getting enough positive attention.

    Answer by elizabr at 2:07 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Hes always getting hugs and love and praise thats why it really bothers me when he does these weird bad things. Like for instance, he lies alot. I tell him to tell me the truth I wont get mad and I never do get mad I rather him tell me and then I praise him for telling me the truth and I help him with whatever it is. I love my little one to bits and want him to know that I will give him everything but when hes bad I cant continue to give him things he gets when he is good. :-(

    Comment by AngelEyva (original poster) at 2:10 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Worry less about punishing bad behavior and more about praising good behavior. But if he takes a bad behavior too far, then the most effective way to deal is time out.
    For example, if he does something you dont like just get down on his level, and look him in his eyes (and he is looking at yours) and say "We do not ________" and if he does it again do the same thing except "We dont now ____ now you have to have a time out" and sit him in time out for his age in minutes (if he is 4 yrs old then 4 minutes) and STAY consistent. You may need to sit there with him while in time out but dont talk to him, dont yell at him, just sit him in the chair and make sure he stays for 4 minutes.

    But that MUST be done along with LOTS of positive praise for good behavior!!! Even if its just normal good behavior. "Wow I really like how you are quietly reading your book! Good Job!" "Wow you are doing so good with that puzzle!" etc etc

    Answer by wendy46121 at 2:18 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I read that you do a lot of what I said thats good...

    But his good behavior shouldnt be punished for his bad behavior.

    Like saying "Thank you for telling me the truth!" should never be something like "Since you lied before......." you know?

    This stuff is difficult! I know! Wording is everything with kids. With mine usually the first firm warning works, and we do constant priase. Way way way more attention for good behavior than bad behavior.

    Answer by wendy46121 at 2:20 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • We are starting a behavior chart with mine. The daily routine will be listed (Get up when asked the first time, Get dressed with less than 3 prompts, Got out the door with out crying, Finnish home work in less and 30 min, clean up toys with less than 3 prompts, Not getting out of bed...) each of these things earns a sticker. Then Bonus stickers for whatever I feel is deserving on a daily basis. 'Bad behavior' looses bonus stickers. When they earn 20 stickers they get a trip to Mc Donalds 50 a trip to the park and 100 a dinner our to the place of their choice. Sometimes having the expectations very clear can help a lot.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 2:38 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I don't know the age of your son, but if he's old enough to write, give him a piece of paper and pencil and make him write, ' I will not hit my sister again' or whatever the bad behavior was. This punishment work for my son and his friends that were over. As they were older, they wrote a 50 word essay on 'I will not.......". Good luck. One time my son came to me with a belt and asked,"please whip me so I don't have to write". NOT!!! Have the writing age appropriate and spelling doesn't count. Just make him sit and write. Again, good luck.

    Answer by marinemom53 at 3:05 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • try giving him some alone time with you. Like a "date" where just the 2 of you go to a movie, the mall, etc. I had 5 siblings and my parents always did this wiyth us, so we never felt left out. My mom says it helped with behavior because we didn't want to miss our special dates.

    Answer by Ashlynnsmommy07 at 3:27 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Have you gotten him tested for ADHD? sounds like that is what the problem is and how to deal with it make him take a time out on his bed with you standing next to it with a look of being very serious about it.

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 4:16 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • it sounds like he needs consistancy in "punishment", positive reinforcement, and some tough love... its great that he loves tv and that you can "take it away" but is that really a suitable punishment if it's not working? no... i'm not saying spank, but you have to find something that works with him.... staying home, sittting in his room, etc... while he is "sorry" it sounds more like he's the one in control becuase you feel bad about things... he knows that once he says "sorry mom" everything is okay...
    i would figure out a good and consistant punishment and maybe, try this instead... instead of taking tv away... why not use it as a reward... no tv at all... but when he tells the truth or acts respectful he is AWARDED tv time...

    Answer by asil at 6:21 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Time out. Put him in his room.

    Answer by sstepph at 8:33 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

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