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2 Bumps

Is this relationship bad for me?

I am a church going christian, I know what the bible says and have experienced God, but I have recently made some bad decisions for myself that have changed my life dramatically, and am in a whole new place with God... I was married to an abusive husband for 3 yrs, and now finally got away from him, and am in the process of a divorce, I have a new bf, who showed up and helped me "get away" from the abuse, and he is amazing!!! but my "church" suggested that I not b in any relationships for a while, and that was the plan, but Oops... to late, now I am pregnant again, and am living with him because he takes care of me and my 2 children. I am in love again and this was'nt suppose to happen, but I cant give this up, I feel like he needs me and I need him! what should I do?? Could God work in this? or should I make more changes? was this a mistake, or fate?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Sep. 12, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (7)
  • I would go with what my heart tell me. I don't think it the church or anyone else business on what you do with your life. Think about what's good for you and your kids not what's good for the church that's just my point of view!!!!!

    Answer by elisabellaguna at 2:49 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I have worked with lots of dv victims and it is always recommended that the gal take some time off from getting into a new relationship. That isnt set in gold, its just a suggestion. The reason it is suggested is so that you have time to re-group and get to know yourself a little better. Thats all. If you found someone new that you really connect with and things are going forward, then go forward. Now, if your church is saying you guys should not get married or make judgement calls of that nature, then I see a problem. You are on the same journey with God,,,he is still right with you, regardless of whats going on in your life. The church is there to support you, not bring you down. Maybe this one is between you and God.

    Answer by beyondhopes at 2:52 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • You should be happy, this doesn't always happen right away. Two things bothered me about what you wrote. One that you are living with him because he is taking care of you and your 2 kids, and Second that you need him.

    You just left an abusive relationship and you're aleady starting another family with someone. Could you be with him because you don't feel you have anywhere else to go right now? Your afraid of being alone? He protects you from your ex? These are not great reasons to be in a relationship. I hope it all works out.

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 3:31 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Here is the most vital question you need to ask yourself: Do you love this man? Does he love you?

    If the answer to both of those questions is "Yes", then relax. No, the going will not be easy, but since when is it ever easy? But as long as you genuinely love each other, the rest will work themselves out.

    And I may be Pagan, but I do still believe in and love God with all my heart and I believe that wherever there is love, God is in it, for God IS love, no? Like I said, if you two truly love each other, then don't worry about the rest, for as long as you love each other and work together as a team, the rest will work out.

    Good luck!

    Answer by PaganMommy04 at 6:18 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • God always can...
    I understand why your church suggested you step away from relationships for a while... its imp to have a break in b/w ESPECIALLY in the case of abusive relationships...
    you didn't you are where you are , what do you want next...
    God will be there no matter what....

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 6:26 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Well your friends are right.. and from what I have heard from counselors and even those in the court room. Waiting should be the wisest thing to do.. you needed the time to heal, to grow and to be restored spiritually and emotionally but instead you are right , bad choices were made.. you are now ONE with the man you became pregnant with. I hate to say this but because your divorce was not final.. adultery was commited. Now we serve the God of Grace. He loves you , mistakes and all and HE will provide the way. You NEED GOD more than you NEED the man you had sex with. You need to be asking GOD what to do. Jesus told the adulteress.. GO and SIN NO MORE. That is what He is saying to you now. That is grace. He is not mad at you, He is not disappointed in you. He loves you so much and you are STILL His child but He asks that you LISTEN to His voice and to the leading of Holy Spirit. :-)Continued...

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 6:48 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I am also going through a divorce and I refuse to have any opposite sex relationships for a while. I KNOW I need healing.. it is suggested 2 years max! I am absolutely fine with that. My kids are 16 and 13. Which works in all our favor as they can do a lot of things themselves now. Anyway I just want you to know you NEED to listen to God and do the right thing. He knows we are going to goof up. He already took care of it on the Cross. We just need to say I am sorry and then take His hand and keep walking, leaving the mess behind us forever :-) Love covers a multitude of sin and Mercy triumphs over judgment! :-) That is the amazing God we serve and the Awesome we love! :-)

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 6:52 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

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