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Even though you forgave you husband for cheating because of your kids, Can you really forget?

When we first got married, it hadn't even been 2 months of being married when I found out my husband was cheating on me, I was determined to leave him but then I found out I was pregnant, so I forgave him because I was scared of having a child by myself. It's been almost two years now, and even tho he is a better person now I still can't forget about It, It keeps replaying over and over in my mind and I can't help it! And when he ask whats wrong I tell him what I'm thinking and he tells me, "Why are you living in the past?" So, WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO?. Also I forgot to mention it was his baby momma that he chated me with, and now I mean she calls all the time, saying it's only about the baby, and when I tell my husband to tell her to quit calling so much he tells me; "She has my son, I can't tell her that!", I mean It drives me crazy...I NEEDS ADVICE PLEASE!!! I mean what can I do to move on?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:35 AM on Oct. 16, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • *I* would have terminated the pregnancy, and left his butt. Once a cheater ALWAYS A CHEATER. I don't care what ANYONE SAYS! And since you took him back, he now KNOWS your a sucker and will forgive him over and over again.
    Never forgive a cheater, and never forget.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • I think you know the answer to your own question....
    Can you forget...If you felt that you could forget...I feel that you would not have posted that question
    Like the one above me...once a cheater always a cheater..
    Do yourself a world of good...move on...it will not be easy...but you are worth it...
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 9:43 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • I hate to say this but you are stuck in this situation, either let it go (which is very hard to do) or leave him, I wish I had better advice. If you will never be happy as time goes by you will have to do something with you and the baby it is all about the baby now. not all about you. Good Luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • It is hard. I think it's just super hard for you because you have her in your life and there's no way to put it in the past. He's going to have to realize that as long as she is in your life then what happened can not be in the past. Unfortunately, it sounds like there is no way around your situation. To this day, my husband knows that if I ever see "her" face (my cousin) I will tear her a new one. :) Just knowing that he's okay with it has been a big help. I think what would help me would be this... let her call to talk about the baby, but the deal is that you are in on every conversation. It takes time to heal and if he wants you to move on he needs to help you. It hurts, it's frustrating, and it will take a lifetime to get over.
    lauchremi

    Answer by lauchremi at 9:46 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • You can't forget it, thats virtually impossible BUT you can chose to not dwell on it so much. I think you need to tell him exactly how you feel and what your fears are. I also think that lauchremi gave great advice.

    It does take time to heal but you can get past this!!
    luvnmy3kid

    Answer by luvnmy3kid at 10:14 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • I found out (after we got married) that my husband cheated on me while we were engaged. It absolutely broke my heart. However, I could have left him right then and there, we had no kids at that point, and we had only been married for about 2 months. But I chose to try and make it work. Now we have been married for 5 years. It is very very hard to work through, but that is just it, you both need to work through it. He needs to be supportive and not make comments about "lliving in the past". But, if you really don't think that you are BOTH willing to work through it, then maybe it is time to call it quits. You should never stay in a relationship for children...it makes childrean miserable.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • I totally understand ur being upet, but I agree, it'll b hard, but u can get past it & when u do it needs 2 b left there, in the past. He needs 2 b firm w/ her & let her know that just bc they share a child 2gether, doesn't mean she has 2 call him like she is & should only do so when it's really necessary.Talk 2 talk him & b honest about ur feelings & concerns bc he mite not realize how ur hurting.
    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 11:03 AM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • I think that you need to put your faith in God and ask him to see you threw these trying times of life. You are being tried, Hun. Its the devil making think such horrible things. You love him or baby or not you would not have stayed. You made the decison to stay, now make the decison to get past that bump in the road. .
    BabyGirlErma

    Answer by BabyGirlErma at 12:14 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • My heart was broken so many years ago. When I found out the love of my life cheated with my brothers wife.. I was 15 years old. My brother was in prison. I never kissed this man, held his hand, ( we courted for a year before this ) nothing up until he cheated on me. I was so crushed. I knew SIL was a slut. When I talked with him he was so shameful. I know that he was ashamed of what he had done to hurt me... He promised he would never make that mistake again.... Almost 14 years later... Here we are ... We have three wonderful boys ages almost 10, 9, 8. Not one time her name comes up he dont drop his head of shame. I think he really did know he fucked up. Fast forward to now. If we been together for almost 14 years if he cheats.. I wouldnt stick around. I gave him that one. He would never do anything to hurt me now.. Please send me a message if you would like to be friends... Thanks for letting me give my opinion. :)
    BabyGirlErma

    Answer by BabyGirlErma at 12:15 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • :) God will see you threw this.... I never regret my choice to stay with the love of my life. We are only human and no one is perfect ~ we all makes mistakes.
    BabyGirlErma

    Answer by BabyGirlErma at 12:17 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

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