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Should I tell my 3.5 yr that her great grandma is dying?

My grandfather (her great grandfather) passed away in May. He had cancer and we knew it was going to be soon. She had seen him in the hospital a few times, but also at his house. When he died I told her he went to Heaven & that it was where you went when you got really old (I didn't want to say sick because I didn't want her freaking out when she got sick) and it's very far away. My grandmother is on hospice now with cancer. We took a trip with her in July so my dd has seen her, but not in the hospital. Should I tell her that great grandma is going to Heaven soon, or just wait until she does? There was no casket at my grandfather's service, and there won't be one at my grandmother's service either.

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Ashlynnsmommy07

Asked by Ashlynnsmommy07 at 3:09 PM on Sep. 12, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 22 (12,667 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • I would just wait.
    baboluchi56

    Answer by baboluchi56 at 3:11 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • If she was close to her great grandma, I would tell her. But if she isn't, i wouldn't tell her anything at all.
    RAI2001

    Answer by RAI2001 at 3:11 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • 3.5 is pretty old, pretty sharp, and will ask the appropriate questions that come up in their adorable little mind. personally I would.... my daughter just turned 4 this Summer and if I was in that situation I'd say something like great granny is at the end of her life and will be going to heaven this year. should we go spend some time with her and read her some books? etc etc etc.....
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 3:12 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I would wait until she passed, but if you say she is going to heaven soon be prepared to answer questions about her being sick or she is going because she is getting very old like great grandpa. Best wishes. I am sorry for your loss.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 3:14 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Sorry to hear that! But I wouldn't go into detail about the dying part and concentrate on the living part and by allowing your daughter to spend as much time as possible before her grandmother passes so she can collect some good memories.
    CafeMochaMom1

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 3:14 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Great Gramma Edna was 94, and she wasn't sick, so we didn't have time to tell my 4yo. She was however just fine with it. My FIL however is not long for this world and she knows about it, just overhearing people talk about it. Suprizingly she's okay with it. She handles it quite well and is not afraid of it. I'm so proud of her.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 3:21 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I'd love to have her spend more time with her, but she lives 7 hours away. She's also very weak & cranky (my mom is taking care of her until she passes) so I don't think she'd want my dd around (she's very loud and talkative like a typical 3.5 yr old). We went on that trip in July & took lots of pictures. DD still talks about it, I just wonder if she should know or not. It's probably best to wait?
    Ashlynnsmommy07

    Comment by Ashlynnsmommy07 (original poster) at 3:22 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Hospice has alot of wonderful resources/people who can help people of all ages deal with death. And it's free! Sorry for your losses. I lost both of my grandparents 6 weeks apart, so I feel your pain!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 4:09 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • wait
    momx3gx1b

    Answer by momx3gx1b at 4:25 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • If she's close, then yes. Just tell her she's going to heaven, like you did with your grandfather.
    sstepph

    Answer by sstepph at 5:59 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

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