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How do you balance being a mother and student with having a personal life?

I'm an adult college student and for the past year, I've found it increasingly more difficult to have a personal life while being a mother and student. Unfortunately, I do not have strong family support and I only have 3 close friends; two of which are guys. What tips might you ladies have? Yes, I know my main priority should be taking care of my child and pursuing my education, and it is but everyone needs to get out every once in a while. I've not been out since I started school last summer.

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TipToe19

Asked by TipToe19 at 3:23 PM on Sep. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (181 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Does your kids father participate at all? I know when I was going to school full time and working and being a mom, the only time I went out was when my 3 kids were with their dad. Other than that, maybe you could switch post an ad on craigslist looking for another single mother to switch off child care nights with? She takes care of your child one Friday night, you take care of hers the next? There are a lot of people looking to barter services like that. Of course you would need to a background check and/or ask for personal references!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 3:29 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • No, he lives in another state. The only person I have is my mother, but she has health issues and some days she's really drained. I'm not so sure about the Craigslist thing, even with background checks. Thank you for your input.

    TipToe19

    Comment by TipToe19 (original poster) at 3:32 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I don"t have a social life either :)
    Mrs.Bryant1201

    Answer by Mrs.Bryant1201 at 3:35 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I'm going back to school as well, plus a full-time job, plus my 18-month-old, plus running the household, plus keeping a happy relationship with my DH. My family is all close (like same neighborhood) but I really don't want to make them babysitters. I'd rather have them see us when it's a visit. M-F is spent at home.

    How I balance it all with a social life is I #1 don't do anything that I can't bring my daughter along with me. There are of course those few date nights where we do arrange a babysitter but for the most part my daughter is coming along everywhere I go. I feel that there are a lot more benefits in exposing her to a social environment then always leaving her behind with someone else. #2 I value the social activities I do have rather than worry about the ones I don't participate in. But I did sew up my wild oats before getting married, let alone have children, so I don't miss that lifestyle.
    redmoonintexas

    Answer by redmoonintexas at 3:46 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Ha! What personal life?!? All I do is take care of my kids and study.
    dragonlady320

    Answer by dragonlady320 at 3:48 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • i found that it was very important as a busy single parent to have adult time and a social life. while i had more guy friends most of my life, i found that there is nothing like a good woman friend - you might even look for others in your situation where you can both understand that you can't just pick up and get out at any given time. i appreciated visits with other single moms where our kids could play together while i had an adult to talk to. we also traded babysitting, etc. so we could get out of the house too once in a while.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 7:13 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I wish I had some advise for you. I have just started going back to college since my husband left. I am just starting to learn many things about being a single parent and juggling other things in my life. I don't even want to think about relationships at this point. Good luck though
    KyliesMom5

    Answer by KyliesMom5 at 7:19 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I still havent figured it out
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 11:05 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • @redmoonintexas, I too sowed my oats before having my daughter, but that doesn't mean my life has to revolve around her 24/7. She and I go out and have mommy/daughter time; however I would like the company of adults as well.

    @figaro8895, I do have one good girlfriend, but she and I are in parallel situations but her son is much younger than my daughter. She's also charged with taking care of her ailing mother but she has a close knit family for support. I don't have the pleasure of knowing her family all that well to entrust them with my daughter on occasion.
    TipToe19

    Comment by TipToe19 (original poster) at 11:45 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

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