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Does your husband say is sorry for something and in the same breath give a lousy excuse for why he did what he did. Why doesn't he realize it negates his apology.

By giving an excuse, he is saying that he did not do anything wrong.

 
tootoobusy

Asked by tootoobusy at 3:26 PM on Sep. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 52 (487,465 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • yup. and often i get a billion excuses before we get to the apology. his mom and dad - wonderful as they are - never taught either of their sons personal responsibility. my husband has had a hard life because of his inability and/or lack of desire to take responsibility for his actions (i.e. immaturity). i have been very clear with my husband that an apology with an excuse means nothing to me except that he is not owning his actions which only pisses me off more than if he said nothing at all - what's wrong is wrong. there is, however, a slight difference between an explanation and excuse. sometimes an explanation allows the "victim" to understand where the other was coming from and find ways to solve the problem. maybe this is what he is trying to do and just not good at communicating it? you know him best to know if it's that or just avoiding responsibility
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 7:07 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Like m-avi said. It's a typical man. It will hurt their ego to admit they are wrong and it takes a lot of pride just to apologize.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:29 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • They defend themselves when they are wrong... :O
    Mrs.Bryant1201

    Answer by Mrs.Bryant1201 at 3:30 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Everyone does that at one point or another. It doesn't neccisarily negate the apology, but it doesn't help if it's a half-ass excuse.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:36 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • That's typical for any man, husband or not.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 3:27 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I have one of those at home. Sometimes he mixes it up a little and tells me how he's sorry but how it's really basically my fault instead. Keeps things interesting :)
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 3:28 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • No, he justs says sorry because he knows by now that it's all over if he keeps it simple!!
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 3:29 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • He is trying to save face. Let him do it. He apologized, that is what matters. That he doesn't want to feel badly about himself is not a bad thing.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:29 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I feel that by making an excuse, he hasn't thought it through. He won't be able to make changes the next time because he has not truly accepted the responsibility and understood what he has done wrong. There is always an excuse.
    tootoobusy

    Comment by tootoobusy (original poster) at 3:42 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Id have to say thats typical for any person, not just men. I know I have done it many times. I work very hard not to now that I know I do it though. My husband doesnt apologize, he will act sorry, but he is stuborn and wont apologize, but I know when he is sorry so it works for us.
    -LovingMamma-

    Answer by -LovingMamma- at 3:43 PM on Sep. 12, 2010