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8 Bumps

dissapointment in stuff other moms can take for a given

my child has autism, so can not tell me about her day-like other kids
when i opick her up from school, teacher tells me how her day was-if the teacher has the time, which is rare. it is so hard to hear the kids tell their moms about this or that

just having a hard time with it all today
same days worse than other days

thanks for listening

do not take for granted that your kids can tell you about ANYTHING
i could only dream when i heara parent say "they never stop talking" and wink or smile
i know they are just making small talk and some shared parent smiles
BUT i can not ever say she talks too much

it sucks!

Answer Question
 
fiatpax

Asked by fiatpax at 8:01 PM on Sep. 12, 2010 in

Level 46 (221,572 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • My niece has Disassociation Disorder. Poor girl might get irritated because her tag in her shirt is itchy, or her sock is twisted but she literally can't just say it. Instead she totally melts down and has the most awful tantrums, hysterical screaming and kicking, biting and pinching herself. It can take over an hour to settle her down. You almost never find out what sets her off but from those few rare gems we have divined its these simple things. Its extremely frustrating. I can understand your pain and frustration even if its not the same. Glad to listen for you Momma.
    GoldenLinds

    Answer by GoldenLinds at 8:10 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I'm in the same boat you're in and it hurts A LOT! I don't have the time to go to a support group because I'm a single mom, but I know when I did go to one with other mom's of kids with ASD... it helped so much that I cried.... Do you go to one? I REALLY know how you feel though... I think the exact same thoughts every single day and night and other moms even without realizing it, I think, hurt me by their comments about their own kids.... but I love my child and I can tell you love yours.
    momofonelilguy

    Answer by momofonelilguy at 8:11 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • then it must be a treasure when she does smile and wink and tell you about her day that way. enjoy that. don't worry about other mothers that dont understand. as long as it works for you, then dont worry.
    candle5

    Answer by candle5 at 9:56 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • HUGS momma!
    Roadfamily6now

    Answer by Roadfamily6now at 12:57 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • I got really upset when a friend posted his children's state assesment scores on his FB wall. I don't want to be jealous or petty, but some things just sting a little. Hugs to you from another ASD mom.
    tiggermom803

    Answer by tiggermom803 at 1:41 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Both my kids are disabled, and I really get where you are coming from.

    Some parents take so much for granted when it comes to their children, and I would do anything if my kids could run around, bath themselves and just be "normal"!!!

    You are allowed to have bad days, but love your child and be happy for all the things she CAN do!
    NatalievdV

    Answer by NatalievdV at 2:16 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • Ah, I am so sorry. Some take for granted the litte things.
    sstepph

    Answer by sstepph at 10:19 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • My oldest has autism and it used to be the same way for me. How old is your child? My son really blossomed when he hit around 9-10. He didn't speak at all until he was 5, he's now 13 and can answer very simple questions ("how was your day?", "good"). He still can't tell me details about his day, but certain things he says will give me hints as to what went on. But I remember well the helplessness of not knowing. He actually was being abused (yelled at, strapped in a seat all day long, etc) in kindergarten and it took me all year to find out that it was happening, and I never would have found out had the teacher assistant in there pulled me aside one day after school!
    Have you talked with the teacher about some type of communication about his day? A notebook that gets passed back and forth with handwritten notes, a checklist, etc. You can have it written into his IEP so the teacher would have to comply.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 12:37 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • i hear ya mama... and i would make sure that you work something out with the teacher... a phone call at night, a written note, an email...
    asil

    Answer by asil at 12:49 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

  • I am sure that has to be really hard. Is there a chart or something you can have the teacher fill out to let you know how the day went?
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 2:23 PM on Sep. 13, 2010

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