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Bad school grades...

My son is 13 and is starting to get bad grades...I got two message this week from two teachers he's in danger of failing. I enrolled him in the Boys and Girls Club for tutoring, but he hasn't shown up. I told him he better or I'm taking some things away. I also told him that everynight I want to see where he wrote down his homework for the day and that I will be initialing it for myself not for the teacher and that I would be checking that he did the homework too. He is not happy he said that he hates that I'm all up in his business. I told him that I love him and that I want him to succeed...I don't approve of D and F and there will be consequences. What else can I do?

 
JCRestoredme

Asked by JCRestoredme at 12:15 PM on Oct. 16, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 9 (291 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • All up in his business? I guess he hasn't figured out yet that he isn't an adult. He doesn't want you to get involved than he should make better grades. That is the best way to keep you out of his school business. I wouldn't wait to set the consequences. If you have to babysit him to get him to do his work then make the consequences now, don't just threaten. He is already failing. I would cut off all computer, cell phone and social time until he brings the grades up or at least shows the required effort. No tv no hanging out with his buddies. If he wants to have some business he needs to handle it without acting like a six year old that has to have a parent check every assignment. If he is 13 he is probably still in junior high school and I would try to set him straight right away before he goes into high school. My son's grades drop then so does his luxuries. It is his choice. Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:46 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • Does your son have a male influence in his life? If not, try to find a "big brother" for him to follow. I feel through have a male mentor, your since will get inspired for a direction. He is one year away from high school where his grades will count toward college. Your son will listen to his male mentor to understand how his academic decisions will affect his future profession. "Big Brothers Big Sisters" has a much longer wait for boys than girls. Try BBBS, but try to find a friend with a profession that can step in. Try even to go to your city hall to find a police officer than can step in to be a big brother.
    BlueSaphire

    Answer by BlueSaphire at 12:31 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • Tell him that if you have to go with him to school and sit with him in each class to make sure that is is learning an being respectful (e.g. listening) that you will. And really do it if you have to. Don't give up, you are doing good by being aware and active in his education. Good Luck.
    bellasrose71008

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 1:02 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • You are handling this situation well. I would also have your son get a daily grade slip. Your son will have to be responsible to make sure each teacher signs it daily. Take his privileges away until his grades improve. Using the computer, having a cell phone, going out are all considered privileges. At my daughter school anything below a C is considered a F. (the school give no D) I like this it makes my daughter study more. You can always bribe him if he gets good grades you will buy him something or take him somewhere special.

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 2:17 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • Oh I think you're doing a great job. You're his MOM, his business is YOUR business. Ask him how he'll feel when all of his friends graduate and go to high school and he stays in 8th grade. He'll understand someday.Now that I'm going to be a mommy I understand that she wasn't being mean, she wanted the best for me.

    My hubbys mom does this


    Each A is worth $10


    Each B is worth $5


    Each C is worth $3


    Get a D and you owe mom $5


    Get an F and you owe mom $20


    Needless to say my honey got good grades. LOL

    MarlyeGirl

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 4:19 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • I know I'm not really answering, but I can relate. 7th and 8th grade are really hard years. My daughter's grades took a big dive in 8th grade too. Try to have a certain time (at least 1 hour) designated for homework each night when no phone or screen time is allowed and be glad you caught this now b4 high school and hopefully it will get better like mine did.
    FRAN510

    Answer by FRAN510 at 5:15 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • Have you asked him if those classes are confusing.. My 8th grade year we had Algebra and the books were so confusing that even my teacher had to really look at it to understand what the problem was about. I think parents that press their children to achieve good grades are excellent. It boost their confidence when they make them. I would keep in contact with his teachers, see their opinion on what might be distracting him. And the "all up in my business" comment, I think he is lashing out bc he is upset at himself for getting the poor grade. Being strict and involved even though he tells u he hates u will pay off in the long run... Kids don't understand why their parents come off as nosy until they become parents....Hang in hun
    mrsfarris

    Answer by mrsfarris at 10:34 PM on Oct. 16, 2008

  • I was in the same boat as you with my daughter she almost failed 7th grade with the mood changes and wow, it was a horrible year I tell ya. I think your son is going through some things and I would advise you seek counseling, and yes start taking things away but of all things try not to be too aggressive and try and explain to your son when he is ready to communicate you will make a deal. NOTHING WORKED for daughter and come down in the end, she was having a hard time adjusting to Jr High, was jealous of her sister, felt that WE mom and dad were not listening, and there was a lot of emotional stuff. She is doing great this year.
    Mooska

    Answer by Mooska at 7:20 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • I had the hardest times in JR high. Ask if he understands what they are teaching, I remeber home work At least being almost 4 hours each night. stressful lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • My son was like this last year. I put him in counseling because I couldn't figure out what was wrong. Turns out he was struggling with peer pressure--whether to try smoking and drinking because some of his life long friends were trying things that he wasn't sure about and he didn't have any close friends in his classes in a new building. He is a different kid this year in 8th grade. Could be your son is trying to find his place too and school doesn't seem important to him? If you can, get him in counseling. I am so glad I did!
    wendy1466

    Answer by wendy1466 at 7:18 AM on Oct. 18, 2008