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why wont my fiance stand up to his mother?

I have been with him for a long time 2 and a half years and his mom has controled alot of what he does now that we have been living together she still trys to control him and its been a year we have lived together I have told her myself that he is a grown man let him make his own choices or he will make them with me but she still calls all the time saying stupid stuff like i'm worried about your dog you need to feed her "which we do" she also calls and says you need to keep your job and stay there and he has never said he was quiting he doesn't even call out when he is sick hes had this job since before we met come on now she is getting on my last nerve and he gets mad about it but just sits there and says I do or I am or he just says OK but never tells her its my life I have a child of my own now and I don't live with you...He needs to tell her if he has a probleme or a decision to make he will make it with me but he don't.

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Asked by jessesmama22 at 9:44 PM on Sep. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,311 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • He has to stand up to her and if he does not it will not matter. I stood up to my mom and it made me change the way I thought if he does not it will not matter. Tell him man up or bitch out you telling her will not help. GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:48 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Not too many boys will stand up to their Mothers.

    Answer by QandA at 9:48 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Have you stood up to her yet? Have you asked her to not cncern herself with your dog or your job. Why don't YOU tell her yourself to not concern herself with your personal matters. I did it with my husbands family because he wouldn't, now it's easier for him to do it. You can't wait around for him to do it, you will just get angrier. If you want something done right do it yourself!lol

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 9:48 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • Does it bother him? If not, that's probably why. If it does it may be because he just doesn't want to talk to his mom "like that". Maybe he fears her. Maybe he respects her. Maybe it's his personality. Does he stand up to other people?

    Answer by firenicecream at 9:49 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • my mother in law is the same i hate the bit@@ lol she calls like 2 times a day when his home and tells us how to live she thinks our lives should be about her and only her yeah right but my husband is the same way he talks to me about her getting her own life but doesnt ever say anything to her its his mom so i can understand in a way shes been like this is whole life.

    Answer by twimommy at 9:55 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • when his title of fiance changes to husband, he won't stand up to her then either.
    Is this something you can live with?

    Answer by jewjewbee at 9:59 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • He needs to stand up to this mother of his. It sounds to me that he just doesn't want to hurt her feelings. But she does need to butt the hell out your alls lives. I wouldn't answer the phone when she calls i would really talk to him about how your feeling about his mother and the fact that he needs to tell her to back off you all. Talk to him momma tell him how this makes you feel and what this is doing to your nerves. This is not your place to tell his mother anything this is HIS place and he needs to do it NOW. GL

    Answer by raemommy at 10:04 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • good luck

    Answer by regian19832002 at 10:40 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I have gotten on my husband as well on not standing up to his mom.. I think its just something that the men do al the time. some don't but i have known a few like that. They don't want to loose the respect of their mom.. My brother does the same thing. I told him to" just grow up" as i did my husband. So he did tell her and now we have not really heard from her for about 1 year. But you we live right next to her in the other apartment.. haha.. My husband does not miss the annoying calls she would make. SO he did grow up.. He just needed a push..

    Answer by Airforce3mom at 10:54 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

  • I will tell you honestly that getting a Man to stand up to his Mother or Buddies is one of the hardest things that you can do. I do not know why it is so hard for them. My Husband would rather not talk to his Mom at all than to have to stand up to her about anything. It drives me insane!!

    Answer by hsmominky at 10:57 PM on Sep. 12, 2010

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